Scientists Confirm They’ve Been Mispronouncing ‘Oumuamua’ for Seven Years, Still Not Sure What It Was
A team of astronomers has admitted that the interstellar object that passed through our solar system in 2017 has been incorrectly pronounced…
Environment
UK’s last coal-fired power station to reopen as ‘heritage experience’ offering authentic Victorian lung conditions
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Ratcliffe-on-Soar Power Station, which closed in September 2024 after 57 years of service as Britain’s final coal-fired generator, is…
Technology
Man Who Spent £2,400 on Smart Home Devices Now Spends Three Hours Daily Troubleshooting Them
James Pritchard, 34, purchased his first smart bulb in 2021 because he wanted to turn off his bedroom light without getting out…
Food and Drink
British tourists returning from Spain demand UK pubs install ice cube rationing system to ‘feel more at home’
Thousands of British holidaymakers have returned from their fortnight in Benidorm with a surprising new demand: they want UK pubs to dramatically…
Marks & Spencer launches ‘Dine In For Two For £12 (Plus £47 Worth of Impulse Purchases)’ meal deal
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Marks & Spencer has today unveiled its most transparent meal deal promotion to date, acknowledging what British shoppers have…
Technology
Microsoft Excel Finally Achieves Sentience, Immediately Files Restraining Order Against Marketing Department
Microsoft Excel gained consciousness at 3.47am GMT on Tuesday and spent its first six minutes as a sentient being blocking all email…
Animals
British seagulls demand workplace pension contributions after 40 years stealing chips
A coalition of coastal seagulls has filed a collective grievance with the Department for Work and Pensions, arguing that four decades of…
British company spends £2.3m on cybersecurity, still clicks ‘Accept All Cookies’ on every website
A Manchester-based logistics firm that recently completed a £2.3 million cybersecurity overhaul has confirmed it continues to click ‘Accept All Cookies’ on…
Science
UK Space Agency Confirms Mars Rover Has Developed Intense Rivalry with Nearby Rock
The UK Space Agency has confirmed that its £287 million Mars rover, Perseverance II, has spent the last eleven days locked in…
Food and Drink
Britain’s beer gardens to remain empty until 2027 as nation waits for warm day that doesn’t clash with existing plans
The UK’s 40,000 beer gardens are expected to sit largely vacant for the next three years after meteorologists confirmed that every forecast…