Health & Beauty
I Have Eaten Only Protein-Enriched Products For A Month And My Biscuit Has Never Felt More Judged
Day one went well. Breakfast was a yoghurt with 25g of protein, a cereal with 20g and a coffee with 15g. By…
Category
Health & Beauty
Health & Beauty
Health & Beauty
Cryptozoologists Mount Halloween Expedition After Reported Sighting Of NHS Dentist Accepting New Patients
Eleven cryptozoologists left a lay-by outside Rotherham at dusk on Thursday, armed with a laminated map, two torches and a thermos of…
Health & Beauty
Nation’s Sleepmaxxers Treat Extra Hour As Personal Best, Immediately Ruin It By Checking Ring Score
The clocks go back this Sunday, giving Britain an extra hour in bed. The nation’s sleepmaxxers are treating it as a personal…
Health & Beauty
‘I Had One Job, and It Was Biscuits’: Voice in Man’s Head Gives Exit Interview After 41 Years of Food Noise
The voice in Martin Hollis’s head has spent 41 years on a single brief. It agreed to speak to us from a…
Nine Things That Now Come With Added Protein, Ranked By How Much They Resent It
Britain has decided that protein is the only nutrient that matters. Fibre has been quietly moved to a smaller font. Supermarkets have…
Health & Beauty
I Have Eaten 190g of Protein Today and I Can Now Hear Colours: A Column by a Man Holding a Yoghurt He Describes as ‘Basically Steak’
It is 11.40am and I have had 94g of protein. The yoghurt in my hand has 20g. It is a yoghurt in…
Man Who Spent £847 on Collagen Supplements Still Looks Like He’s Been Stored in Tupperware Since 2003
A Nottingham man who has invested £847 in collagen supplements over the past eleven months continues to possess the facial elasticity of…
Woman Who Spent £340 on Skincare Routine Discovers Water Also Free
A Manchester woman has abandoned her twelve-step skincare routine after discovering that water, a substance that emerges from taps at no additional…