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Friday, 16 October 2026 Vol. I · 2026

MADE UP NEWS

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Cyber Security

Staff who clicked fake pay rise email to be sent on mandatory course explaining why they are not getting a pay rise

Two hundred and fourteen employees of Dunmore Gribble Integrated Solutions, a mid-sized facilities and document management firm in Telford, have been told to attend a mandatory ninety-minute course…

By Tom Ashworth · 16 October 2026
Animals

Office Dog Who Has Never Missed a Day Since 2018 Would Like a Word With Anyone Who Has Tried ‘Coffee Badging’

I have been asked to keep this short, which is reasonable, as I am a Labrador and the deadline falls close to…

Tom Ashworth · 16 October 2026
Science

‘I’ve Built a Flood Defence in One Night and Now They Want a Planning Application,’ Says Beaver in Exclusive Interview

The beaver meets me on the bank of a swollen tributary in the Cotswolds, wearing a lanyard made of bark. It says…

Sarah Kelsey · 15 October 2026
Environment

Local Firm Reaffirms Unwavering Commitment To Net Zero By Declining To Say The Words Out Loud

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE, ALTHOUGH WE WOULD PREFER IT WASN’T Fenwick-Trundle Logistics Solutions Group today reaffirmed its unwavering commitment to reaching net zero,…

Tom Ashworth · 14 October 2026
Business

Man who hates his job but is too frightened to leave recorded by HR as ‘highly engaged’

Martin Hollis, a Senior Reconciliation Analyst at Brindlesworth & Pinch Logistical Solutions, was described in an all-staff email on Monday as ‘a…

Tom Ashworth · 12 October 2026
Politics

Treasury Confirms Budget Speculation Now Longer Than Budget, Offers to Hold Actual Announcement as Optional Epilogue

HM TREASURY PRESS NOTICE. For release at a time to be briefed in advance to selected Sunday newspapers. HM Treasury today confirmed…

Tom Ashworth · 12 October 2026
Food and Drink

OPINION: I’ve Put Protein In Everything I Own And I’m Now Technically A Gym, Says Man

I would like to begin by saying that I am not a gym person. I have a gym membership, which is different.…

James Whitford · 11 October 2026
Health & Beauty

Nine Things That Now Come With Added Protein, Ranked By How Much They Resent It

Britain has decided that protein is the only nutrient that matters. Fibre has been quietly moved to a smaller font. Supermarkets have…

Sarah Kelsey · 10 October 2026
Automotive

Carmaker Thrilled To Announce Groundbreaking Wiper Technology Called ‘A Switch’

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Thistlewick Motors today unveils the most significant advance in windscreen management since, well, the windscreen wiper. Introducing the TactiWipe™…

James Whitford · 10 October 2026
Cyber Security

IT Department Delighted As 100% Of Staff Now Report Every Email As Phishing, Including Its Own Cyber Security Awareness Month Reminders

FOR INTERNAL DISTRIBUTION. Norbury Sprocket & Fitting Group, Reading. The IT Service Desk at Norbury Sprocket & Fitting Group is pleased to…

Tom Ashworth · 9 October 2026
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Most Recent

  • Staff who clicked fake pay rise email to be sent on mandatory course explaining why they are not getting a pay rise
  • Office Dog Who Has Never Missed a Day Since 2018 Would Like a Word With Anyone Who Has Tried ‘Coffee Badging’
  • ‘I’ve Built a Flood Defence in One Night and Now They Want a Planning Application,’ Says Beaver in Exclusive Interview
  • Local Firm Reaffirms Unwavering Commitment To Net Zero By Declining To Say The Words Out Loud
  • Man who hates his job but is too frightened to leave recorded by HR as ‘highly engaged’
  • Treasury Confirms Budget Speculation Now Longer Than Budget, Offers to Hold Actual Announcement as Optional Epilogue

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