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Britain’s rewilded beavers formally request relocation to Scotland after accidentally visiting Slough British Scientists Confirm Nation’s Hedgehogs Now Too Anxious to Hibernate Properly Due to Doorbell Cameras Sony announces PlayStation 6 will be backwards compatible with your childhood sense of wonder Man Who Leaves Engine Running on School Run Excited to Finally Do His Bit by Switching to Bamboo Toilet Paper Nation’s SUV drivers promise to offset carbon footprint by feeling quite guilty about it
Environment

Britain’s rewilded beavers formally request relocation to Scotland after accidentally visiting Slough

26 March 2026 Tom Ashworth No Comments

A colony of Eurasian beavers released into the River Thames watershed as part of Natural England’s rewilding initiative has submitted formal relocation paperwork citing ‘irreconcilable aesthetic differences’ with their designated…

Science

British Scientists Confirm Nation’s Hedgehogs Now Too Anxious to Hibernate Properly Due to Doorbell Cameras

26 March 2026 Sarah Kelsey No Comments

A three-year study by the University of Bristol has concluded that Britain’s hedgehog population is experiencing widespread sleep disruption caused by the nation’s 6.8 million video doorbells. The research, which…

Gaming

Sony announces PlayStation 6 will be backwards compatible with your childhood sense of wonder

26 March 2026 James Whitford No Comments

Sony has confirmed that its next generation console, the PlayStation 6, will feature full backwards compatibility with that feeling you had when you first turned on a PS1 and watched…

Environment

Man Who Leaves Engine Running on School Run Excited to Finally Do His Bit by Switching to Bamboo Toilet Paper

25 March 2026 Tom Ashworth No Comments

A father of two who idles his 2.3-tonne Range Rover Sport outside the school gates for approximately forty minutes each weekday has confirmed that he is now making a genuine…

Environment

Nation’s SUV drivers promise to offset carbon footprint by feeling quite guilty about it

25 March 2026 Tom Ashworth No Comments

Britain’s ever-growing fleet of SUV owners have collectively pledged to counterbalance their vehicles’ environmental impact through a rigorous programme of intermittent remorse and the occasional sigh when starting the engine.…

Environment

Nation’s recycling bins to be replaced with ‘aspiration repositories’ where plastic goes to feel valued

25 March 2026 Tom Ashworth No Comments

The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs has announced that all household recycling bins across England will be renamed ‘aspiration repositories’ as part of a comprehensive programme to ensure…

Science

Scientists Confirm Most Expensive Particle Collider Ever Built Still Just Smashing Things Together to See What Happens

25 March 2026 Sarah Kelsey No Comments

CERN has announced plans for a £17 billion particle collider that will, like its predecessors, operate on the principle of throwing very small things at each other very hard until…

Environment

Nation’s carbon offsetting schemes now just blokes planting Japanese knotweed in lay-bys

25 March 2026 Tom Ashworth No Comments

An investigation by this publication has found that approximately seventy per cent of Britain’s carbon offset projects consist of men in hi-vis jackets depositing invasive plant species beside A-roads, then…

Environment

Man who flies to three stag dos a year wondering why his recycling bin is full

25 March 2026 Tom Ashworth No Comments

A Manchester resident who has attended stag weekends in Prague, Budapest and Kraków since February is struggling to understand why his household recycling rates remain stubbornly high despite his conscientious…

Technology

Man Who Spent £1,200 on Smart Home Devices Now Manually Pressing Button to Ask Permission to Turn On Own Kettle

25 March 2026 Sarah Kelsey No Comments

A Bristol man who invested £1,200 in smart home technology now requires three separate app authentications and a manual button press to boil water in his own kitchen. Tom Hargreaves,…

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Recent Posts

  • Britain’s rewilded beavers formally request relocation to Scotland after accidentally visiting Slough
  • British Scientists Confirm Nation’s Hedgehogs Now Too Anxious to Hibernate Properly Due to Doorbell Cameras
  • Sony announces PlayStation 6 will be backwards compatible with your childhood sense of wonder
  • Man Who Leaves Engine Running on School Run Excited to Finally Do His Bit by Switching to Bamboo Toilet Paper
  • Nation’s SUV drivers promise to offset carbon footprint by feeling quite guilty about it

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  • March 2026

You missed

Environment

Britain’s rewilded beavers formally request relocation to Scotland after accidentally visiting Slough

26 March 2026 Tom Ashworth No Comments
Science

British Scientists Confirm Nation’s Hedgehogs Now Too Anxious to Hibernate Properly Due to Doorbell Cameras

26 March 2026 Sarah Kelsey No Comments
Gaming

Sony announces PlayStation 6 will be backwards compatible with your childhood sense of wonder

26 March 2026 James Whitford No Comments
Environment

Man Who Leaves Engine Running on School Run Excited to Finally Do His Bit by Switching to Bamboo Toilet Paper

25 March 2026 Tom Ashworth No Comments

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