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Friday, 5 June 2026 Vol. I · 2026

MADE UP NEWS

Britain’s sharpest satirical news

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Cyber Security

IT security manager spends entire morning explaining what ‘phishing’ is to same director who fell for obvious scam in 2019, 2021, and last Tuesday

Graham Pelham, IT security manager at Harrogate-based logistics firm Westbridge Solutions, has confirmed that he spent the entirety of Thursday morning re-explaining the fundamental concept of email phishing…

By Tom Ashworth · 5 June 2026
Animals

British seagulls announce industrial action over declining fish and chip shop waste

The National Union of Gulls and Allied Coastal Workers has today announced a programme of coordinated industrial action following what it describes…

Tom Ashworth · 5 June 2026
Science

Scientists Confirm They’ve Been Pronouncing ‘Quinoa’ Wrong This Whole Time, Entire Field of Nutrition in Crisis

The nutritional science community has been thrown into disarray following the revelation that quinoa, the grain-like seed championed by health-conscious professionals since…

Sarah Kelsey · 4 June 2026
Environment

Man who flew to climate conference confirms he’s ‘part of the solution’ after offsetting via app he didn’t read terms of

A management consultant who travelled 4,200 miles to attend a three-day sustainability summit has described himself as part of the solution to…

Tom Ashworth · 3 June 2026
Technology

Man Who Bought £4,000 ‘Apple Intelligence Hub’ Still Just Uses It to Look at Weather

A London man who purchased Apple’s latest AI-powered home device has confirmed he primarily uses the £4,000 system to check whether he…

Sarah Kelsey · 3 June 2026
Politics

Sunak announces he’s finally worked out what went wrong in 2024 election

Former Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has revealed that after fourteen months of careful reflection, detailed analysis of polling data, and several long…

Tom Ashworth · 1 June 2026
Food and Drink

Gastropubs Legally Required to Offer Minimum One ‘Nduja Dish Under New Regulations

The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs has announced sweeping new legislation requiring all establishments identifying as gastropubs to feature at…

James Whitford · 31 May 2026
Technology

Man Who Spent £2,400 on Smart Home Devices Now Spends 40 Minutes Daily Troubleshooting Why Lights Won’t Turn On

A Nottingham resident who invested heavily in transforming his three-bedroom semi into a “home of the future” now dedicates approximately 40 minutes…

Sarah Kelsey · 31 May 2026
Cyber Security

IT department celebrates successful phishing test by forwarding results to entire company in insecure spreadsheet

The Information Security team at logistics firm Hargreaves Distribution has marked the successful completion of its quarterly phishing awareness test by immediately…

Tom Ashworth · 29 May 2026
Animals

Sniffer dog at Heathrow requests transfer to baggage handling after detecting owner’s affair in luggage

A three-year-old springer spaniel employed in Heathrow’s security operations has formally requested a transfer to baggage handling after what colleagues describe as…

Tom Ashworth · 29 May 2026
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Most Recent

  • IT security manager spends entire morning explaining what ‘phishing’ is to same director who fell for obvious scam in 2019, 2021, and last Tuesday
  • British seagulls announce industrial action over declining fish and chip shop waste
  • Scientists Confirm They’ve Been Pronouncing ‘Quinoa’ Wrong This Whole Time, Entire Field of Nutrition in Crisis
  • Man who flew to climate conference confirms he’s ‘part of the solution’ after offsetting via app he didn’t read terms of
  • Man Who Bought £4,000 ‘Apple Intelligence Hub’ Still Just Uses It to Look at Weather
  • Sunak announces he’s finally worked out what went wrong in 2024 election

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