A colony of Eurasian beavers released into the River Thames watershed as part of Natural England’s rewilding initiative has submitted formal relocation paperwork citing ‘irreconcilable aesthetic differences’ with their designated…
A three-year study by the University of Bristol has concluded that Britain’s hedgehog population is experiencing widespread sleep disruption caused by the nation’s 6.8 million video doorbells. The research, which…
Sony has confirmed that its next generation console, the PlayStation 6, will feature full backwards compatibility with that feeling you had when you first turned on a PS1 and watched…
A father of two who idles his 2.3-tonne Range Rover Sport outside the school gates for approximately forty minutes each weekday has confirmed that he is now making a genuine…
Britain’s ever-growing fleet of SUV owners have collectively pledged to counterbalance their vehicles’ environmental impact through a rigorous programme of intermittent remorse and the occasional sigh when starting the engine.…
The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs has announced that all household recycling bins across England will be renamed ‘aspiration repositories’ as part of a comprehensive programme to ensure…
CERN has announced plans for a £17 billion particle collider that will, like its predecessors, operate on the principle of throwing very small things at each other very hard until…
An investigation by this publication has found that approximately seventy per cent of Britain’s carbon offset projects consist of men in hi-vis jackets depositing invasive plant species beside A-roads, then…
A Manchester resident who has attended stag weekends in Prague, Budapest and Kraków since February is struggling to understand why his household recycling rates remain stubbornly high despite his conscientious…
A Bristol man who invested £1,200 in smart home technology now requires three separate app authentications and a manual button press to boil water in his own kitchen. Tom Hargreaves,…
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