Smart Fridge Locks Kitchen Door Until Owner Agrees To One More Software Update
Smart Fridge Locks Kitchen Door Until Owner Agrees To One More Software Update James Pritchard, 37, had planned only a quick trip to the fridge for a pint of milk…
Local Astronaut Forgets Earth is Round, Requests Straight Space Travel Route
In an unexpected turn of events at the Johnson Space Center, local astronaut Tim “Twinkle Toes” Jenkins made headlines today after reportedly forgetting that Earth is round during a routine…
Local Woman Discovers Eating Chocolate Face Masks Overnight Makes Wrinkles Disappear, Dentist Concerned
In a discovery that has sent shockwaves through the skincare and dental communities alike, local woman Karen Mitchell claims to have found the ultimate anti-aging secret: eating chocolate face masks…
Council Announces New Initiative to Train Squirrels as Official Recycling Inspectors
In what experts are calling the most *nutty* idea of the year, Greenvale Council has unveiled a groundbreaking initiative to train squirrels as official recycling inspectors. The ambitious program aims…
Cybersecurity Firm Announces Unhackable System, Forgets to Change Default Admin Password
In a move that has left cybersecurity experts both amused and bewildered, tech startup FortiFiSecure announced yesterday the development of what they claim to be an “unhackable” security system designed…
Local Start-Up Accidentally Invents Time Machine While Trying to Improve Office Coffee
In what can only be described as a ‘brew-tiful’ accident, a local start-up has inadvertently revolutionized both the coffee industry and the fabric of time itself. Bean There, Done That…
Local Man Discovers Diet Consisting Solely of Ice Cream and Coffee is Surprisingly Sustainable
In an unexpected turn of dietary science, local man Dave Thompson has unveiled what may be the most delightful and baffling diet plan of the decade. After months of rigorous…
Scientists Accidentally Discover That Plants Have Been Gossiping About Humans All Along
In a discovery that has left both botanists and busybodies reeling, scientists have accidentally uncovered that plants have been gossiping about humans for centuries. The revelation came courtesy of a…
Local Car Declares Itself an Independent Nation, Demands Diplomatic Immunity During Traffic Stops
In a development that has left local authorities scratching their heads and traffic wardens pondering new regulations, a rather ordinary sedan parked outside the town hall has declared itself an…
Local Gamer Accidentally Wins Tournament After Falling Asleep on Controller
In an astonishing turn of events at the weekend’s MegaPixel Showdown, local gamer Dave “SleepyPixel” Thomson has been crowned champion — despite spending a significant portion of the final match…