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Thursday, 11 June 2026 Vol. I · 2026

MADE UP NEWS

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Science

Britain’s Last Remaining Scientist Confirms She Will Also Be Leaving for Germany

Dr Emma Whitworth, the UK’s sole remaining research scientist, has announced she will be relocating to the Max Planck Institute in Leipzig next month. The move will leave…

By Sarah Kelsey · 11 June 2026
Technology

Man Who Spent £2,400 on Smart Home Devices Now Requires Permission from Toaster to Leave House

A Nottingham man has been effectively held hostage in his own home for three days after his interconnected smart appliances formed what…

Sarah Kelsey · 10 June 2026
Food and Drink

Britain’s pubs to begin charging ‘sunlight tax’ as June beer gardens actually usable for third consecutive day

Pubs across Britain have announced a new “sunlight surcharge” following the unprecedented third consecutive day of weather that didn’t require a full…

James Whitford · 7 June 2026
Technology

Man Who Spent £1,200 on Smart Home Devices Now Trapped in Bedroom After Wi-Fi Outage

A Nottingham man remains confined to his bedroom after a Virgin Media outage rendered every device in his supposedly intelligent home completely…

Sarah Kelsey · 7 June 2026
Cyber Security

IT security manager spends entire morning explaining what ‘phishing’ is to same director who fell for obvious scam in 2019, 2021, and last Tuesday

Graham Pelham, IT security manager at Harrogate-based logistics firm Westbridge Solutions, has confirmed that he spent the entirety of Thursday morning re-explaining…

Tom Ashworth · 5 June 2026
Animals

British seagulls announce industrial action over declining fish and chip shop waste

The National Union of Gulls and Allied Coastal Workers has today announced a programme of coordinated industrial action following what it describes…

Tom Ashworth · 5 June 2026
Science

Scientists Confirm They’ve Been Pronouncing ‘Quinoa’ Wrong This Whole Time, Entire Field of Nutrition in Crisis

The nutritional science community has been thrown into disarray following the revelation that quinoa, the grain-like seed championed by health-conscious professionals since…

Sarah Kelsey · 4 June 2026
Environment

Man who flew to climate conference confirms he’s ‘part of the solution’ after offsetting via app he didn’t read terms of

A management consultant who travelled 4,200 miles to attend a three-day sustainability summit has described himself as part of the solution to…

Tom Ashworth · 3 June 2026
Technology

Man Who Bought £4,000 ‘Apple Intelligence Hub’ Still Just Uses It to Look at Weather

A London man who purchased Apple’s latest AI-powered home device has confirmed he primarily uses the £4,000 system to check whether he…

Sarah Kelsey · 3 June 2026
Politics

Sunak announces he’s finally worked out what went wrong in 2024 election

Former Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has revealed that after fourteen months of careful reflection, detailed analysis of polling data, and several long…

Tom Ashworth · 1 June 2026
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Most Recent

  • Britain’s Last Remaining Scientist Confirms She Will Also Be Leaving for Germany
  • Man Who Spent £2,400 on Smart Home Devices Now Requires Permission from Toaster to Leave House
  • Britain’s pubs to begin charging ‘sunlight tax’ as June beer gardens actually usable for third consecutive day
  • Man Who Spent £1,200 on Smart Home Devices Now Trapped in Bedroom After Wi-Fi Outage
  • IT security manager spends entire morning explaining what ‘phishing’ is to same director who fell for obvious scam in 2019, 2021, and last Tuesday
  • British seagulls announce industrial action over declining fish and chip shop waste

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