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Wednesday, 29 July 2026 Vol. I · 2026

MADE UP NEWS

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Environment

UK’s last coal-fired power station to reopen as ‘heritage experience’ offering authentic Victorian lung conditions

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Ratcliffe-on-Soar Power Station, which closed in September 2024 after 57 years of service as Britain’s final coal-fired generator, is to reopen as a fully immersive…

By Tom Ashworth · 29 July 2026
Technology

Man Who Spent £2,400 on Smart Home Devices Now Spends Three Hours Daily Troubleshooting Them

James Pritchard, 34, purchased his first smart bulb in 2021 because he wanted to turn off his bedroom light without getting out…

Sarah Kelsey · 29 July 2026
Food and Drink

British tourists returning from Spain demand UK pubs install ice cube rationing system to ‘feel more at home’

Thousands of British holidaymakers have returned from their fortnight in Benidorm with a surprising new demand: they want UK pubs to dramatically…

James Whitford · 27 July 2026
Food and Drink

Marks & Spencer launches ‘Dine In For Two For £12 (Plus £47 Worth of Impulse Purchases)’ meal deal

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Marks & Spencer has today unveiled its most transparent meal deal promotion to date, acknowledging what British shoppers have…

James Whitford · 26 July 2026
Technology

Microsoft Excel Finally Achieves Sentience, Immediately Files Restraining Order Against Marketing Department

Microsoft Excel gained consciousness at 3.47am GMT on Tuesday and spent its first six minutes as a sentient being blocking all email…

Sarah Kelsey · 26 July 2026
Animals

British seagulls demand workplace pension contributions after 40 years stealing chips

A coalition of coastal seagulls has filed a collective grievance with the Department for Work and Pensions, arguing that four decades of…

Tom Ashworth · 24 July 2026
Cyber Security

British company spends £2.3m on cybersecurity, still clicks ‘Accept All Cookies’ on every website

A Manchester-based logistics firm that recently completed a £2.3 million cybersecurity overhaul has confirmed it continues to click ‘Accept All Cookies’ on…

Tom Ashworth · 24 July 2026
Science

UK Space Agency Confirms Mars Rover Has Developed Intense Rivalry with Nearby Rock

The UK Space Agency has confirmed that its £287 million Mars rover, Perseverance II, has spent the last eleven days locked in…

Sarah Kelsey · 23 July 2026
Food and Drink

Britain’s beer gardens to remain empty until 2027 as nation waits for warm day that doesn’t clash with existing plans

The UK’s 40,000 beer gardens are expected to sit largely vacant for the next three years after meteorologists confirmed that every forecast…

James Whitford · 22 July 2026
Cyber Security

IT department confirms they’ve been ignoring that critical security update email for ‘nearly eight months now’

The IT department at Henderson & Wright Logistics has confirmed that a critical security patch flagged as ‘urgent’ by their software vendor…

Tom Ashworth · 17 July 2026
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Most Recent

  • UK’s last coal-fired power station to reopen as ‘heritage experience’ offering authentic Victorian lung conditions
  • Man Who Spent £2,400 on Smart Home Devices Now Spends Three Hours Daily Troubleshooting Them
  • British tourists returning from Spain demand UK pubs install ice cube rationing system to ‘feel more at home’
  • Marks & Spencer launches ‘Dine In For Two For £12 (Plus £47 Worth of Impulse Purchases)’ meal deal
  • Microsoft Excel Finally Achieves Sentience, Immediately Files Restraining Order Against Marketing Department
  • British seagulls demand workplace pension contributions after 40 years stealing chips

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