Major Timothy Aldridge, Britain’s first astronaut bound for Mars, has spent the initial 47 days of his seven-month journey issuing a continuous stream of apologies to European Space Agency mission…
The Prime Minister has reassured the nation that there is absolutely no rush to implement any of the housing reforms, NHS improvements, or economic growth measures promised during last year’s…
British Gas has confirmed that customers will see a new line item on their April bills described as a ‘standing charge administration fee (standing)’, which the company says is necessary…
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE The British Hedgehog Collective has formally submitted a request to the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs seeking recognition of flexible working arrangements that would allow…
Nintendo has confirmed that its upcoming console, dubbed the Switch 2, will feature full backwards compatibility with the overwhelming sense of joy and possibility you experienced when you first played…
A Tunbridge Wells man is said to be in recovery this week after dinner guests successfully identified every single item from his supposedly sophisticated three-course menu as Aldi’s Specially Selected…
A Bristol man who invested over £1,200 in smart home technology now dedicates approximately 40 minutes each day to diagnosing why his bedroom lights refuse to respond to basic commands,…
A Hackney man has come to the devastating realisation that his attempt to save money by cooking Middle Eastern food at home has cost him approximately 23 lunches at the…
The Department of Health and Social Care has announced a new clinical pathway for gamers displaying symptoms of what medical professionals are calling Acute Pre-Order Syndrome, particularly those who have…
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE JD Wetherspoon is thrilled to announce the launch of Wetherspoons Prestige, a premium dining concept set to revolutionise the British pub landscape by offering meals that cost…
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