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Monday, 26 October 2026 Vol. I · 2026

MADE UP NEWS

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Business

Brindlecombe & Moist Holdings Announces Staff Will Be Assessed For Six Months Before Being Assessed For Another Six Months, ‘In The Spirit Of Employment Rights Reform’

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Brindlecombe & Moist Holdings (BMH), the Rotherham-based provider of workplace compliance solutions to organisations that are themselves providers of workplace compliance solutions, today unveiled a…

By Tom Ashworth · 26 October 2026
Politics

Treasury Announces Budget Speculation Will Now Be Held In Place Of Budget To Save Everyone Time

HM TREASURY. FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. EMBARGOED UNTIL SUCH TIME AS IT APPEARS IN A NEWSPAPER. HM Treasury today announced that, with effect…

Tom Ashworth · 26 October 2026
Food and Drink

‘I’ve Been Crisping Since 1pm, Which Is Now Also 1pm’: Exhausted Roast Potato Speaks Out As Clocks Go Back

The clocks go back this weekend, which means that by 4pm on Sunday the nation will be eating its roast dinner in…

James Whitford · 25 October 2026
Health & Beauty

Nation’s Sleepmaxxers Treat Extra Hour As Personal Best, Immediately Ruin It By Checking Ring Score

The clocks go back this Sunday, giving Britain an extra hour in bed. The nation’s sleepmaxxers are treating it as a personal…

Sarah Kelsey · 24 October 2026
Automotive

Carmaker Thrilled To Announce Revolutionary New Technology Called ‘A Button’

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Wibbleton Motors is delighted to unveil what it calls the most significant leap in cabin interaction in over a…

James Whitford · 24 October 2026
Cyber Security

Entire Workforce Ignores Genuine Pay Rise Email After Assuming It Is Another Phishing Test

Not one of the 340 employees at Brindlecombe Ledger & Sundry has opened an email announcing a 4.2 per cent pay rise,…

Tom Ashworth · 23 October 2026
Animals

Office Dog With Perfect Attendance Tells Hybrid Colleagues They ‘Don’t Know What Commitment Is’

I have been in the office every working day since the mandate was announced. That is five days a week, with one…

Tom Ashworth · 23 October 2026
Science

Interview: The Cloud Sitting Over Britain Since September Says Orionid Meteor Shower ‘Sounds Lovely, Do Send Pictures’

The Orionid meteor shower peaks overnight on 21 to 22 October. It is debris from Halley’s Comet, best viewed after 2am, away…

Sarah Kelsey · 22 October 2026
Environment

Firm’s Sustainability Report So Thoroughly Greenhushed That Sustainability Team Cannot Find It

The sustainability report at Dunmoggin Bulk Solutions has been missing since Tuesday, a state of affairs the company’s sustainability team describes as…

Tom Ashworth · 21 October 2026
Space

UK Space Agency, Absorbed Into Whitehall Department, Reassures Public It Is Still ‘In Orbit, Just Round Something Much Duller’

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. Westminster. The UK Space Agency today confirmed that it has been absorbed into the Department for Science, Innovation and…

Sarah Kelsey · 20 October 2026
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Most Recent

  • Brindlecombe & Moist Holdings Announces Staff Will Be Assessed For Six Months Before Being Assessed For Another Six Months, ‘In The Spirit Of Employment Rights Reform’
  • Treasury Announces Budget Speculation Will Now Be Held In Place Of Budget To Save Everyone Time
  • ‘I’ve Been Crisping Since 1pm, Which Is Now Also 1pm’: Exhausted Roast Potato Speaks Out As Clocks Go Back
  • Nation’s Sleepmaxxers Treat Extra Hour As Personal Best, Immediately Ruin It By Checking Ring Score
  • Carmaker Thrilled To Announce Revolutionary New Technology Called ‘A Button’
  • Entire Workforce Ignores Genuine Pay Rise Email After Assuming It Is Another Phishing Test

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