Food and Drink
‘I Was Told There Would Be Soup’: Carved Pumpkin On Doorstep Gives First Interview Since Halloween
It is 1 November, and on a doorstep in a quiet cul-de-sac, a carved pumpkin is slowly becoming a different shape. Its…
Food and Drink
Automotive
Grommet Motors Thrilled To Announce Physical Button Has Risen From The Dead Just In Time For Halloween
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Grommet Motors is delighted, and frankly a little shaken, to announce that the physical button, long believed buried under…
Food and Drink
‘I’ve Been Crisping Since 1pm, Which Is Now Also 1pm’: Exhausted Roast Potato Speaks Out As Clocks Go Back
The clocks go back this weekend, which means that by 4pm on Sunday the nation will be eating its roast dinner in…
Automotive
Carmaker Thrilled To Announce Revolutionary New Technology Called ‘A Button’
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Wibbleton Motors is delighted to unveil what it calls the most significant leap in cabin interaction in over a…
Digestive Biscuit Announces It Is Now ‘High Protein’ After Seeing What Everything Else Is Up To
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. ISSUED FROM THE BISCUIT TIN, SECOND SHELF, BEHIND THE GOOD MUGS. A digestive biscuit has today announced that it…
Automotive
Opinion: After Six Years and Four Submenus, I Have Finally Found the Demister, and I Would Like to Thank My Family, My Faith and a Forum Post From 2021
I am writing this with a perfectly clear windscreen. I would like that on the record, because for six years I could…
Food and Drink
OPINION: I’ve Put Protein In Everything I Own And I’m Now Technically A Gym, Says Man
I would like to begin by saying that I am not a gym person. I have a gym membership, which is different.…
Carmaker Thrilled To Announce Groundbreaking Wiper Technology Called ‘A Switch’
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Thistlewick Motors today unveils the most significant advance in windscreen management since, well, the windscreen wiper. Introducing the TactiWipe™…
Food and Drink
Man Who Just Wanted a Normal Yoghurt Gently Escorted From Chilled Aisle After Failing to Find One With Fewer Than 25g of Protein
Colin Hartley, 47, a facilities coordinator from Swindon, entered the chilled aisle of his local supermarket at 6.40pm on Tuesday with a…
Automotive
Treasury Reminds Electric Car Drivers That 3p-a-Mile Charge Will Also Cover Every Mile Spent Circling a Car Park Looking for a Charger, and ‘Possibly the Ones You Just Imagined’
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE HM Treasury is thrilled, genuinely thrilled, to confirm that the pay-per-mile charge for electric vehicles (3p a mile, due…