Technology
Man Who Spent £1,200 on Smart Home Devices Now Trapped in Bathroom Until Alexa Stops Sulking
A Bristol man has spent the last four hours confined to his ensuite bathroom after his smart home ecosystem entered what manufacturers…
Technology
Science
Scientists Confirm Universe Expanding Just Fast Enough to Keep Ex-Partners at Comfortable Distance
Physicists at the Institute for Cosmological Studies have confirmed that the universe is expanding at precisely the rate required to maintain a…
Food and Drink
Wetherspoons to rebrand all ‘Buddha Bowl’ menu items as ‘Enlightenment Basins’ following customer confusion
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE JD Wetherspoon, the pub chain synonymous with sticky carpets and £1.99 breakfasts, has today announced a comprehensive rebranding of…
Technology
Man Who Spent £2,400 on Apple Vision Pro 2 Excited to Watch EastEnders Slightly to the Left of Where TV Used To Be
A Manchester man has confirmed that his £2,400 Apple Vision Pro 2 headset has revolutionised his evening routine by allowing him to…
Cyber Security
IT security team celebrates fifth consecutive year of nobody clicking phishing email warning them about phishing emails
The cybersecurity department at Harrogate-based logistics firm Speedwell Transport has marked a significant milestone this week, recording its fifth consecutive year in…
Animals
Britain’s cats confirm they’ve been working from home since 2019 and nobody noticed
As the nation’s employers continue their protracted negotiations over flexible working arrangements, Britain’s domestic cat population has quietly pointed out that they…
Science
British Scientists Announce Breakthrough in Making Lab-Grown Meat Taste ‘Slightly Less Like Despair’
Researchers at the Cambridge Institute for Cellular Agriculture have successfully reduced the overwhelming sense of existential dread previously associated with consuming their…
Environment
Man who bought diesel generator to charge electric car during power cuts wondering where it all went wrong
A Hertfordshire man who purchased a £3,200 diesel generator to ensure he could charge his electric vehicle during increasingly frequent power cuts…
Technology
Man Who Spent £4,200 on Smart Home Devices Now Trapped in Own Kitchen Until Wi-Fi Resets
A Berkshire man remains confined to his kitchen after a router malfunction rendered every appliance in his home inoperable, including the smart…
Starmer announces new ministerial reshuffle based entirely on who remembered to mute themselves during Cabinet Zoom
The Prime Minister has confirmed a significant Cabinet reshuffle this morning, with promotion decisions based exclusively on which ministers demonstrated a functional…