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Wednesday, 5 August 2026 Vol. I · 2026

MADE UP NEWS

Britain’s sharpest satirical news

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Environment

Man who bought diesel generator to charge electric car during power cuts wondering where it all went wrong

A Hertfordshire man who purchased a £3,200 diesel generator to ensure he could charge his electric vehicle during increasingly frequent power cuts…

Tom Ashworth · 20 May 2026
Technology

Man Who Spent £4,200 on Smart Home Devices Now Trapped in Own Kitchen Until Wi-Fi Resets

A Berkshire man remains confined to his kitchen after a router malfunction rendered every appliance in his home inoperable, including the smart…

Sarah Kelsey · 20 May 2026
Politics

Starmer announces new ministerial reshuffle based entirely on who remembered to mute themselves during Cabinet Zoom

The Prime Minister has confirmed a significant Cabinet reshuffle this morning, with promotion decisions based exclusively on which ministers demonstrated a functional…

Tom Ashworth · 18 May 2026
Food and Drink

Wetherspoons to Launch Michelin-Star Dining Experience After Accidentally Serving Food at Correct Temperature

JD Wetherspoon has announced plans to launch an exclusive fine dining concept following what the company is calling “an isolated incident of…

James Whitford · 17 May 2026
Technology

Man Who Spent £47,000 on Smart Home Devices Now Unable to Turn on Kitchen Light Without Three Apps and a Blood Sacrifice

A Berkshire man has reportedly been living in partial darkness for six weeks after his integrated smart home system became too complex…

Sarah Kelsey · 17 May 2026
Cyber Security

Nation’s IT departments to spend Bank Holiday Monday convincing colleagues that ‘Password123!’ is not, in fact, a strong password

IT security teams across Britain are preparing to sacrifice their Bank Holiday Monday to the ancient and thoroughly unwinnable battle of explaining…

Tom Ashworth · 15 May 2026
Animals

Squirrels vote to accept three-day week in exchange for guaranteed nut pension

The National Union of Grey Squirrels has announced that 73 per cent of its membership voted in favour of reducing the working…

Tom Ashworth · 15 May 2026
Science

Scientists Confirm British Public Will Believe Absolutely Anything If You Put ‘Gut Microbiome’ In The Headline

Researchers at Imperial College London have concluded a three-month study demonstrating that the British public will purchase and consume virtually any substance…

Sarah Kelsey · 14 May 2026
Environment

British man who installed heat pump in 2023 finally stops mentioning it in every conversation

A Derbyshire man who installed an air source heat pump eighteen months ago has reportedly gone an entire weekend without bringing it…

Tom Ashworth · 13 May 2026
Technology

British Smart Fridge Manufacturers Admit They Don’t Know What Happens After You Buy One Either

ChillTech Solutions, a Milton Keynes-based manufacturer of internet-connected refrigeration units, has confirmed that the company maintains no records, interest, or indeed awareness…

Sarah Kelsey · 13 May 2026
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