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Saturday, 19 September 2026 Vol. I · 2026

MADE UP NEWS

Britain’s sharpest satirical news

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Cyber Security

Manchester firm’s entire cybersecurity budget spent on posters reminding staff not to click suspicious links

A Manchester-based financial services company has confirmed that its complete annual cybersecurity budget of £8,400 was allocated to producing laminated posters asking…

Tom Ashworth · 27 March 2026
Animals

British seagulls demand union recognition after 18-month dispute over chip access rights

The National Union of Coastal Gulls has formally requested recognition from the Trades Union Congress following an eighteen-month dispute over what it…

Tom Ashworth · 27 March 2026
Technology

Man Who Spent £800 on Smart Home Devices Now Spends 3 Hours Weekly Rebooting Router

A Bristol man who invested eight hundred pounds in smart home technology to save time now dedicates between two and four hours…

Sarah Kelsey · 26 March 2026
Gaming

Gamer who spent £400 on replica Master Sword admits he just uses it to point at the TV when arguing with VAR decisions

A Nottingham man who purchased a screen-accurate replica of Link’s Master Sword from The Legend of Zelda has confirmed that its primary…

James Whitford · 26 March 2026
Environment

Britain’s rewilded beavers formally request relocation to Scotland after accidentally visiting Slough

A colony of Eurasian beavers released into the River Thames watershed as part of Natural England’s rewilding initiative has submitted formal relocation…

Tom Ashworth · 26 March 2026
Science

British Scientists Confirm Nation’s Hedgehogs Now Too Anxious to Hibernate Properly Due to Doorbell Cameras

A three-year study by the University of Bristol has concluded that Britain’s hedgehog population is experiencing widespread sleep disruption caused by the…

Sarah Kelsey · 26 March 2026
Gaming

Sony announces PlayStation 6 will be backwards compatible with your childhood sense of wonder

Sony has confirmed that its next generation console, the PlayStation 6, will feature full backwards compatibility with that feeling you had when…

James Whitford · 26 March 2026
Environment

Man Who Leaves Engine Running on School Run Excited to Finally Do His Bit by Switching to Bamboo Toilet Paper

A father of two who idles his 2.3-tonne Range Rover Sport outside the school gates for approximately forty minutes each weekday has…

Tom Ashworth · 25 March 2026
Environment

Nation’s SUV drivers promise to offset carbon footprint by feeling quite guilty about it

Britain’s ever-growing fleet of SUV owners have collectively pledged to counterbalance their vehicles’ environmental impact through a rigorous programme of intermittent remorse…

Tom Ashworth · 25 March 2026
Environment

Nation’s recycling bins to be replaced with ‘aspiration repositories’ where plastic goes to feel valued

The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs has announced that all household recycling bins across England will be renamed ‘aspiration repositories’…

Tom Ashworth · 25 March 2026
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Most Recent

  • IT department congratulates itself on successful phishing test that fooled absolutely nobody
  • British hedgehogs announce aggressive merger with rival slug population
  • UK Scientists Accidentally Cure Hangovers While Trying to Make Cheaper Rocket Fuel
  • British Man Discovers He’s Been Video Calling His Mum Using ‘Beauty Filter’ for Three Years, Now Considered ‘Suspiciously Youthful’
  • Britain’s rewilded beavers now unionised, demanding better streams and dental
  • Nation’s Developers Admit They’ve Been Googling ‘How to Centre a Div’ for 20 Years

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