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Saturday, 19 September 2026 Vol. I · 2026

MADE UP NEWS

Britain’s sharpest satirical news

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Politics

Starmer announces new taskforce to determine what a taskforce actually does

The Prime Minister has established a sixteen-member taskforce charged with determining the precise function, scope, and deliverables of governmental taskforces, following what…

Tom Ashworth · 13 April 2026
Cyber Security

IT department confirms password must now include at least three extinct species and a reference to Leviticus

Employees at Midlands-based insurance firm Steadfast Solutions were informed on Monday that the company’s password requirements have been updated to include mandatory…

Tom Ashworth · 10 April 2026
Animals

Britain’s squirrels to be reclassified as ‘economically inactive’ in new ONS figures

The Office for National Statistics has confirmed that approximately 2.7 million squirrels across England, Scotland and Wales will be reclassified as economically…

Tom Ashworth · 10 April 2026
Science

UK’s Last Remaining Physics PhD Student Officially Declared National Treasure

The Department for Science, Innovation and Technology has granted Grade I listed status to Thomas Whitmore, 26, the only person currently enrolled…

Sarah Kelsey · 9 April 2026
Technology

Man Who Spent £3,000 on Apple Vision Pro 2 Unable to Explain What He Uses It For

James Thornton, 34, sits in his Guildford living room surrounded by the boxes his Apple Vision Pro 2 came in. He has…

Sarah Kelsey · 8 April 2026
Politics

Lib Dems claim credit for Budget measures they opposed six weeks ago

The Liberal Democrats have issued a press release celebrating their instrumental role in securing three key Budget measures which the party described…

Tom Ashworth · 6 April 2026
Food and Drink

Britain’s gastropubs now legally required to have at least one thing with ‘confit’ in the name

The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs has today announced sweeping new legislation requiring all gastropubs in England and Wales to…

James Whitford · 5 April 2026
Technology

Man Who Spent £89 on Smart Kettle Now Locked Out Until He Updates His Water Preferences

A Nottingham man has been unable to make tea for three days after his smart kettle refused to boil water without an…

Sarah Kelsey · 5 April 2026
Cyber Security

IT security team forced to explain what a password is for eighth consecutive Monday

The IT security department at Berkshire-based logistics firm Hargreaves & Sons has this morning completed its eighth consecutive Monday morning session explaining…

Tom Ashworth · 3 April 2026
Animals

British wildlife formally requests transfer to EU after discovering post-Brexit habitat regulations ‘too vague to bother with’

A coalition of British fauna has submitted formal relocation requests to the European Union following what they describe as an unacceptable deterioration…

Tom Ashworth · 3 April 2026
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