Animals
Urban fox completes rigorous ISO 27001 certification to legally access neighbourhood wheelie bins
A fox operating in the Wandsworth area has become the first member of its species to achieve full ISO 27001 accreditation, bringing…
Animals
IT department confirms they’ve been ignoring critical security update email for six months because ‘it looked a bit phishy’
The IT department at Middlesbrough-based logistics firm Hartwell Distribution has spent half a year diligently deleting emails about a critical server vulnerability,…
Animals
Edinburgh Zoo penguins demand hybrid working after discovering three years of unnecessary commuting to enclosure
A colony of king penguins at Edinburgh Zoo has formally requested hybrid working arrangements after realising they have been waddling to their…
Environment
UK’s last remaining hedgerow confirmed to be ‘under review’ for housing development
The United Kingdom’s final surviving hedgerow, a modest stretch of hawthorn and blackthorn measuring approximately fourteen metres in length, has been officially…
MPs to trial new ‘honest answers’ system in Prime Minister’s Questions for one week to measure impact on public trust
The House of Commons will implement a pilot scheme next Wednesday requiring members to provide direct answers to questions during Prime Minister’s…
Cyber Security
IT department confirms they definitely won’t mention that breach from 2024 unless specifically asked
The information security team at Sentinel Financial Services has issued a carefully worded internal memo confirming that last year’s data breach, which…
Animals
British wasps announce industrial action over ‘unsustainable’ jam consumption expectations
The National Union of Hymenoptera (NUH) has today announced that its wasp members will begin an indefinite work-to-rule from Monday 4th August,…
Britain’s recycling bins to be fitted with CCTV after government admits it has no idea what happens to plastic after collection
The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs has announced that all household recycling bins across England will be fitted with surveillance…
Starmer announces new taskforce to determine what a taskforce actually does
The Prime Minister has established a sixteen-member taskforce charged with determining the precise function, scope, and deliverables of governmental taskforces, following what…
Cyber Security
IT department confirms password must now include at least three extinct species and a reference to Leviticus
Employees at Midlands-based insurance firm Steadfast Solutions were informed on Monday that the company’s password requirements have been updated to include mandatory…