Animals
British hedgehogs announce aggressive merger with rival slug population
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Hedgehog UK Limited, the nation’s leading nocturnal insectivore, has today announced its intention to acquire the entirety of the…
Animals
Environment
Britain’s rewilded beavers now unionised, demanding better streams and dental
Beavers reintroduced to British waterways as part of the government’s rewilding initiative have formally unionised and submitted a list of demands to…
Cyber Security
IT department confirms they’ll get round to updating that critical security patch sometime before Christmas, probably
The IT department at Hargreaves Financial Solutions has reassured staff that the critical security vulnerability identified in their customer database system three…
Animals
British hedgehog announces flexible working arrangement with motorway
A hedgehog from the Berkshire area has successfully negotiated a hybrid working arrangement with the M4 motorway, it was confirmed this morning.…
Environment
UK’s last remaining hedgerow to be replaced with biodiversity offsetting credit stored on server in Slough
The final intact hedgerow in England, a 400-metre stretch of hawthorn and blackthorn along the B4309 near Market Harborough, is to be…
IT Security Team Celebrates Fifth Anniversary of Warning Email Nobody Read
The IT security department at Hendricks & Vale, a procurement consultancy based in Swindon, marked a significant milestone on Tuesday by acknowledging…
Animals
Britain’s guide dogs demand hybrid working arrangements after noticing owners doing emails in pyjamas
The National Association of Assistance Dogs has submitted a formal proposal to the Guide Dogs for the Blind Association requesting a three-day…
Environment
Water company celebrates 18 consecutive months of investment in finding new ways to describe raw sewage
Thames Valley Water Ltd announced today that it has successfully completed the eighteenth month of its landmark Terminology Enhancement Programme, a comprehensive…
Environment
Man who hasn’t recycled since 2019 confident his Ecosia searches are offsetting everything
A Wolverhampton man who has not successfully recycled a single item in four years remains convinced that his use of the search…
Cyber Security
IT department celebrates three months without anyone falling for ‘urgent invoice’ email
The IT security team at Harrogate-based logistics firm Meridian Solutions gathered in a windowless meeting room on Tuesday afternoon to mark ninety…