Starmer confirms he’s perfectly happy to wait until 2029 to have any actual policies
The Prime Minister has reassured the nation that there is absolutely no rush to implement any of the housing reforms, NHS improvements,…
Business
British Gas announces new ‘standing charge for not being a standing charge’ to appear on April bills
British Gas has confirmed that customers will see a new line item on their April bills described as a ‘standing charge administration…
Animals
Britain’s hedgehogs demand flexible working arrangements after discovering they’re more productive at dawn
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE The British Hedgehog Collective has formally submitted a request to the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs seeking…
Business
Man who bought £4.20 meal deal now Britain’s foremost expert on inflation
A telecommunications worker from Basingstoke has been recognised as the nation’s leading authority on macroeconomic policy after purchasing a Tesco Finest meal…
Environment
Man who installed heat pump spends more time explaining heat pump than heat pump has spent heating house
Martin Hendricks, 48, has dedicated approximately 127 hours to explaining how his air source heat pump works since its installation in November,…
Politics
MP who spent £127,000 on second home ‘couldn’t possibly be expected to commute’ from 43 miles away
A Conservative backbencher has defended claiming £127,000 in expenses for a second home in London by explaining that the 43-mile journey from…
Cyber Security
IT department celebrates sixth consecutive month without single person clicking phishing link by accident
The IT department at Hargreaves Industrial Solutions has marked six consecutive months without a single employee accidentally clicking on a phishing link,…
Starmer announces new ministerial position to explain what previous ministerial positions actually do
The Prime Minister has created a new Cabinet role dedicated to explaining the responsibilities of existing Cabinet roles, following widespread confusion among…
Britain’s houseplants to be issued carbon credits after government admits they’ve been doing more than DEFRA
The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs has announced that the nation’s estimated 340 million houseplants will be enrolled in the…
IT security team celebrates successful phishing test by sending congratulatory email immediately harvested by actual phishing attack
The Information Security team at Harrogate-based logistics firm Streamline Solutions has been placed on mandatory leave following last Wednesday’s incident, in which…