Environment
British man who installed heat pump in 2023 finally stops mentioning it in every conversation
A Derbyshire man who installed an air source heat pump eighteen months ago has reportedly gone an entire weekend without bringing it…
Environment
Starmer announces new ministerial position of Chief Excuse Officer following fourth policy U-turn this month
The government has confirmed the creation of a dedicated Cabinet-level position to manage the increasingly complex process of explaining why policies announced…
Environment
UK’s new carbon capture plant successfully stores 12 tonnes of CO2 after three years, equivalent to what was emitted building it
The country’s flagship carbon capture and storage facility has reached a significant milestone, having successfully sequestered precisely as much carbon dioxide as…
Starmer announces new ministerial post of Secretary of State for Saying It’s All The Last Lot’s Fault
The Prime Minister has confirmed the creation of a dedicated Cabinet-level position responsible for attributing all current difficulties to the previous administration,…
Cyber Security
IT department celebrates three-year anniversary of meaning to implement that two-factor authentication thing
The IT department at Midlands-based logistics firm Hargreaves Distribution marked a significant milestone this week, observing three full years since the team…
Animals
Urban fox completes rigorous ISO 27001 certification to legally access neighbourhood wheelie bins
A fox operating in the Wandsworth area has become the first member of its species to achieve full ISO 27001 accreditation, bringing…
IT department confirms they’ve been ignoring critical security update email for six months because ‘it looked a bit phishy’
The IT department at Middlesbrough-based logistics firm Hartwell Distribution has spent half a year diligently deleting emails about a critical server vulnerability,…
Animals
Edinburgh Zoo penguins demand hybrid working after discovering three years of unnecessary commuting to enclosure
A colony of king penguins at Edinburgh Zoo has formally requested hybrid working arrangements after realising they have been waddling to their…
Environment
UK’s last remaining hedgerow confirmed to be ‘under review’ for housing development
The United Kingdom’s final surviving hedgerow, a modest stretch of hawthorn and blackthorn measuring approximately fourteen metres in length, has been officially…
MPs to trial new ‘honest answers’ system in Prime Minister’s Questions for one week to measure impact on public trust
The House of Commons will implement a pilot scheme next Wednesday requiring members to provide direct answers to questions during Prime Minister’s…