I Was Off Sick the Day They Asked for Volunteers, and Now I Will Never Be Free
I had a chest infection on the Tuesday. I mention this not as an excuse but as evidence, because it is the…
Business
Man Who Hates His Job Holds It Tighter After Reading One Article About the Job Market
Keith Warrender, 51, has held the same role for eleven years, a position he describes as “fine” in the tone most people…
Fringe event attended by 400 people, all of whom are due to speak at a different fringe event
A fringe event on housing delivery held in the Marlowe Suite of the Harbourside Hotel on Tuesday afternoon was attended by 400…
Ransomware Gang Issues Customer Notice Over UK Payment Ban: ‘We Appreciate Your Continued Non-Payment’
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: SERVICE UPDATE FOR ALL VALUED VICTIMS Lovely Little Encryptions Ltd today wrote to its client base, which did not…
Animals
OPINION: I Spent Five Years Holding This Household Together From the Sofa, and Now They Want Me to Welcome Hybrid Working
I have been in this role for five years, and in that time nobody has once asked for my input on anything.…
Environment
Firm So Committed To Sustainability It Has Stopped Mentioning It Entirely
Trundlewick Group, a mid-sized firm with roughly 900 employees and a car park internally described as ‘adequate’, confirmed on Tuesday that its…
IT Security Chief Spends Fifth Consecutive Hour Explaining Why ‘Password123!’ Isn’t Actually Fine
Martin Fletcher has been sitting in Meeting Room 3B since half past nine this morning, attempting to convey to the accounts payable…
Animals
UK squirrels to be reclassified as ‘economically inactive’ after latest employment figures
The Office for National Statistics has confirmed that Britain’s estimated five million grey squirrels will be recategorised as economically inactive in next…
Environment
UK’s last remaining carbon offset forest found to be mostly ‘quite knackered’ ash trees from 2019
The sole surviving woodland project still registered with Britain’s Carbon Offset Verification Scheme has been revealed to consist primarily of diseased ash…
Cyber Security
IT department congratulates itself on successful phishing test that fooled absolutely nobody
The IT security team at Midlands-based logistics firm Branwell Solutions has declared its latest phishing simulation exercise an overwhelming success, having successfully…