Man Who Leaves Engine Running on School Run Excited to Finally Do His Bit by Switching to Bamboo Toilet Paper
A father of two who idles his 2.3-tonne Range Rover Sport outside the school gates for approximately forty minutes each weekday has…
Category
Environment
Nation’s SUV drivers promise to offset carbon footprint by feeling quite guilty about it
Britain’s ever-growing fleet of SUV owners have collectively pledged to counterbalance their vehicles’ environmental impact through a rigorous programme of intermittent remorse…
Environment
Nation’s recycling bins to be replaced with ‘aspiration repositories’ where plastic goes to feel valued
The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs has announced that all household recycling bins across England will be renamed ‘aspiration repositories’…
Environment
Nation’s carbon offsetting schemes now just blokes planting Japanese knotweed in lay-bys
An investigation by this publication has found that approximately seventy per cent of Britain’s carbon offset projects consist of men in hi-vis…
Man who flies to three stag dos a year wondering why his recycling bin is full
A Manchester resident who has attended stag weekends in Prague, Budapest and Kraków since February is struggling to understand why his household…
Environment
Man who installed heat pump spends more time explaining heat pump than heat pump has spent heating house
Martin Hendricks, 48, has dedicated approximately 127 hours to explaining how his air source heat pump works since its installation in November,…
Britain’s houseplants to be issued carbon credits after government admits they’ve been doing more than DEFRA
The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs has announced that the nation’s estimated 340 million houseplants will be enrolled in the…