Environment
British man who installed heat pump in 2023 finally stops mentioning it in every conversation
A Derbyshire man who installed an air source heat pump eighteen months ago has reportedly gone an entire weekend without bringing it…
Category
Environment
Environment
Environment
UK’s new carbon capture plant successfully stores 12 tonnes of CO2 after three years, equivalent to what was emitted building it
The country’s flagship carbon capture and storage facility has reached a significant milestone, having successfully sequestered precisely as much carbon dioxide as…
Environment
UK’s last remaining hedgerow confirmed to be ‘under review’ for housing development
The United Kingdom’s final surviving hedgerow, a modest stretch of hawthorn and blackthorn measuring approximately fourteen metres in length, has been officially…
Britain’s recycling bins to be fitted with CCTV after government admits it has no idea what happens to plastic after collection
The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs has announced that all household recycling bins across England will be fitted with surveillance…
UK’s last remaining recycling bin celebrates two years without contamination incident
A blue wheelie bin in Wolverhampton has achieved what waste management experts are describing as an unprecedented milestone, having maintained an entirely…
Britain’s rewilded beavers formally request relocation to Scotland after accidentally visiting Slough
A colony of Eurasian beavers released into the River Thames watershed as part of Natural England’s rewilding initiative has submitted formal relocation…
Man Who Leaves Engine Running on School Run Excited to Finally Do His Bit by Switching to Bamboo Toilet Paper
A father of two who idles his 2.3-tonne Range Rover Sport outside the school gates for approximately forty minutes each weekday has…
Nation’s SUV drivers promise to offset carbon footprint by feeling quite guilty about it
Britain’s ever-growing fleet of SUV owners have collectively pledged to counterbalance their vehicles’ environmental impact through a rigorous programme of intermittent remorse…
Environment
Nation’s recycling bins to be replaced with ‘aspiration repositories’ where plastic goes to feel valued
The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs has announced that all household recycling bins across England will be renamed ‘aspiration repositories’…
Environment
Nation’s carbon offsetting schemes now just blokes planting Japanese knotweed in lay-bys
An investigation by this publication has found that approximately seventy per cent of Britain’s carbon offset projects consist of men in hi-vis…