A Manchester software developer has calculated that he is now spending approximately £40 per month in coffee shop bills explaining to people why he bought an Apple Vision Pro headset.
James Hartley, 34, purchased the device in February. He has since engaged in seventeen separate conversations justifying the expense, fourteen of which took place in cafés where he felt obliged to buy drinks for himself and his increasingly skeptical audience.
“The spatial computing aspect really changes how you interact with digital environments,” Hartley told his brother-in-law last Tuesday over two flat whites and a almond croissant he didn’t want. “You wouldn’t understand until you’ve tried it.”
His brother-in-law had not asked.
Hartley’s monthly outgoings now include £12.99 for iCloud storage, £8.99 for Apple TV Plus, and an estimated £38 to £45 on refreshments consumed during unsolicited presentations about why the Vision Pro represents a paradigm shift in personal computing. He has shown four people the dinosaur demo. Three of them nodded politely. One left to take a phone call and did not return.
“I’ve written the words ‘game changer’ in six separate WhatsApp messages,” Hartley admitted. “Nobody has reacted to any of them with anything except a thumbs up emoji. One person used the thumbs down by mistake and then immediately corrected it, which was somehow worse.”
The device currently sits on Hartley’s desk. He uses it on average twice per week, mostly when he remembers he owns it.
“People don’t realize we’re still in the early adoption phase. In five years, everyone will have one. Well, not everyone. But some people. Dozens, probably.”
Dr. Emma Whitfield, a consumer psychologist at Lancaster University, said the phenomenon is well documented. “Once you’ve spent nearly a thousand pounds on something, your brain becomes a tireless PR agency for that purchase,” she explained. “We’ve seen it with bread makers, with Pelotons, with NFTs. The more expensive and less useful the item, the more elaborate the justification.”
Hartley’s wife, Claire, confirmed that she has heard the phrase “revolutionary interface” at least thirty times. “He’s started saying it in his sleep,” she said. “Last week he tried to convince our plumber that the Vision Pro would transform the heating industry. The plumber was here to fix a leaking radiator.”
Hartley maintains that critics simply don’t grasp the potential. He is currently working on a spreadsheet that will definitively prove the headset’s value proposition. The spreadsheet has seventeen tabs. He has shared it with two colleagues. Both opened it, looked at the first tab, and closed it within forty seconds.
When asked whether he regretted the purchase, Hartley paused for eleven seconds. “Regret is a strong word,” he said finally. “I’d say I’m in an extended evaluation period. Anyway, do you want to try the dinosaur thing? I’ll get us a couple of lattes.”
