A Berkshire man who purchased a Tesla Model 3 in February 2021 has confirmed that his monthly therapy costs have now exceeded the cumulative savings he made by not buying petrol, with several years of potential dinner party interrogations still to endure.
James Pemberton, 38, a marketing consultant from Reading, calculated that whilst he saved approximately £180 per month on fuel over the past four years, he has been attending weekly therapy sessions at £65 per session since October 2022. The sessions, which initially focused on general anxiety, have gradually evolved into what his therapist describes as a specialised treatment programme for automotive cognitive dissonance.
The turning point appears to have coincided with a family gathering where Pemberton spent forty minutes explaining to an uncle why the Twitter rebrand to X was actually quite clever, a position he has since admitted he did not hold.
“I find myself defending decisions made by a billionaire I’ve never met to people whose opinions I don’t actually value,” Pemberton told reporters whilst sitting in his car, which has depreciated by £18,000 since purchase. “Last week I tried to convince my wife’s book club that rockets are more important than reading. I don’t even believe that about my own job.”
Dr Helen Cartwright, a psychologist at the Centre for Consumer Behavioural Studies in Manchester, said she has observed a marked increase in Tesla-related consultations since 2022. The condition typically manifests in patients who bought vehicles during what she terms the “cultural consensus period” before finding themselves marooned by subsequent events.
She noted that sufferers often display symptoms including compulsive checking of resale values, pre-emptive justification of purchases before anyone has asked, and a tendency to change the subject to panel gaps when Elon Musk’s name is mentioned.
Pemberton’s spreadsheet, which he updates monthly and has shared with his therapist, now includes several additional columns beyond the original petrol savings calculation. These encompass therapy costs, the financial value of lost friendships, and a complex formula attempting to quantify what he calls “the psychic weight of having a Tesla logo in your parents’ driveway over Christmas”.
“The car itself is fine,” said Katherine Morton, Pemberton’s partner of six years, speaking from their home where the Tesla is parked at a careful angle that obscures the badge from the road. “It’s just that every time we go anywhere, James spends the first ten minutes of the journey processing whether anyone we know might have seen us getting into it. We’ve started leaving earlier for everything.”
Pemberton confirmed he has considered selling the vehicle but recent inquiries suggest he would need to accept a loss that makes the therapy bills seem almost reasonable by comparison. He has instead opted to continue treatment and has asked his therapist whether there might be a bulk discount available for the remainder of his finance agreement.
The Tesla, which has 42,000 miles on the clock and goes from zero to sixty faster than Pemberton can now say the word “roadster” without wincing, remains parked on his drive.