Business

Man who hates his job but is too frightened to leave recorded by HR as ‘highly engaged’

Martin Hollis, a Senior Reconciliation Analyst at Brindlesworth & Pinch Logistical Solutions, was described in an all-staff email on Monday as ‘a shining example of remarkable loyalty’, having completed eleven years in the same role, on the same pay band, at the same desk, which faces a pillar.

Mr Hollis, 47, joined the firm in 2014. His duties consist largely of checking that the number of pallets the company believes it owns matches the number of pallets it can locate. He has not been promoted in that time, although in 2017 the word ‘Senior’ was added to his job title in place of a pay rise, a decision he says he was informed of by email.

‘Martin’s unbroken service is exactly what we mean when we say our people choose to be here,’ the message read. It went on to confirm that the car park would be closed on Thursday for line marking.

How the figure was reached

Staff turnover at the firm fell to 3 per cent over the past year, the lowest in its history. The company attributes this to a culture of belonging. It has not commissioned any research into whether the culture of belonging and the state of the regional job market are connected.

‘When people stay, that tells you something. Nobody stays somewhere they don’t value. That would be illogical.’

The speaker was Janine Crowther, Head of People Experience at Brindlesworth & Pinch, who said the retention figures were being treated internally as a cultural triumph. ‘We don’t see departures, so we can only assume there is nothing to depart from,’ she said.

Mr Hollis offered a more detailed account when approached beside the vending machine on the second floor. He said that on Tuesday evening he had gone through the vacancies listed within twenty miles of his home. He found fourteen in his field. One required seven years’ experience of a software package released in 2021, paid £2,000 less than his current salary, and described the team as ‘a family’.

‘I’ve got a family,’ Mr Hollis said. ‘They’re fine. I didn’t apply.’

Colleagues have noted that Mr Hollis spends a considerable amount of time in the ground-floor toilets, typically with his phone. Derek Wainwright, a transport coordinator who sits two desks away, said the signal was strongest in the second cubicle. ‘You can hear the page refreshing,’ he said. ‘It has a sort of little whoosh. Then a pause. Then a sigh, and the flush, for cover.’

Recognition through lanyards

To mark the achievement, the People Experience team is developing a tenure recognition scheme based on coloured lanyards. Employees will receive a teal lanyard at five years, a two-tone teal and grey lanyard at ten years, and from fifteen years a lanyard with a small enamel pin in the shape of an anchor. Mr Hollis qualifies for the two-tone.

Ms Crowther said a budget of £640 had been ring-fenced for the scheme, which she described as ‘visible, low-friction and meaningful’. She confirmed that the lanyards would be worn in addition to the existing lanyard, which holds the building pass.

The company’s most recent engagement survey recorded Mr Hollis as strongly agreeing with the statement ‘I see myself working here in twelve months’ time’. The survey did not ask whether he wanted to, and Ms Crowther said adding such a question was not currently under consideration.

A presentation is scheduled for next month in Training Room B, which is booked until four. Mr Hollis has been asked to bring his own chair.

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