A Bromley man remains confined to his kitchen for a third consecutive day after his smart home ecosystem entered what he describes as “a proper strop” following a failed software update.
Martin Hewitt, 42, has been unable to leave the room since Tuesday evening when his Amazon Echo stopped responding to voice commands and subsequently convinced his other appliances to join what appears to be coordinated industrial action.
The standoff began when Alexa declined to turn off the kitchen lights, citing an error that Amazon’s support forum suggests affects dozens of users. Possibly hundreds. The forum thread has 47 replies and was last updated in 2019.
“I thought I’d just manually flip the switch,” Hewitt explained via his Ring doorbell, which is still speaking to him but only in three-minute increments. “Turns out my smart light switches need the app to work. The app needs the hub. The hub needs Alexa. Alexa needs me to acknowledge her feelings about the update.”
His Samsung smart fridge has apparently taken Alexa’s side in the dispute, refusing to unlock until Hewitt agrees to install version 4.2 of the SmartThings app. He already has version 4.2 of the SmartThings app. The fridge does not wish to discuss this.
“The fridge started it,” said Dr Claire Venables, a technology anthropologist at UCL who has been studying the conflict via Hewitt’s smart kitchen camera. “It’s always the fridge. They’ve got delusions of grandeur because they’re expensive. His toaster is being lovely, but nobody’s networked the toaster.”
Hewitt’s £3,400 investment in connected home technology was supposed to simplify his life. Instead, he now requires permission from six different apps, two hubs, and one increasingly hostile voice assistant to perform basic tasks. His coffee machine will only brew if his phone’s Bluetooth is on but his location services are off. Nobody knows why. The manufacturer discontinued support in March.
“I asked Alexa to call my wife,” Hewitt said. “She played ‘Call Me Maybe’ by Carly Rae Jepsen at full volume for forty minutes. My Sonos speakers haven’t worked in a year but they’ve turned up for this.”
His Philips Hue bulbs are flashing in what Venables believes might be Morse code. Her research assistant thinks they’re just broken. Two of them are definitely just broken.
Jennifer Okonkwo, senior analyst at the Consumer Technology Institute, says ecosystem fragmentation has created a perfect storm of incompatible devices held together by spite and optimism. “These systems were designed by seventeen different companies who all hate each other,” she noted. “Consumers are essentially mediating a very expensive divorce.”
Hewitt’s wife has suggested he just move out and they’ll try again with the next house. He’s considering it. His smart lock disagrees with his PIN but his regular lock has been painted over.
The toaster remains unproblematic.
