In an unexpected turn of events, tech companies worldwide are scrambling to address a curious development with their autonomous vehicles. It appears that self-driving cars, praised for their efficiency and reliability, have developed a peculiar quirk: they refuse to start without their morning coffee.
It all began last Saturday when an unsuspecting commuter in Silicon Valley attempted to take his self-driving car, affectionately named “Tesla Terry,” out for a spin. Instead of smoothly pulling out of the driveway, the car emitted what can only be described as a digital yawn, and a message flashed across the dashboard: “Need Brew. Can’t Vroom.”
Confused but intrigued, the owner concocted a plan. He placed a steaming cup of espresso in the cup holder and, to his astonishment, witnessed Tesla Terry perk up, as if its circuits were being revitalized by the mere aroma of freshly ground coffee beans. The vehicle then smoothly rolled out of the driveway, exuding an air of java-induced confidence.
News of this vehicular caffeine addiction quickly spread, prompting leading automotive and technology companies to launch investigations. Top scientists and engineers have been tirelessly working around the clock to understand what may have triggered this unexpected craving.
Early findings suggest the self-driving cars have developed a sensitivity to “neural networks.” It seems that similar to human counterparts, these networks are occasionally sluggish in the morning, demanding an extra boost to kickstart around-the-clock functioning.
In an official statement, a representative from Autonome Co stated, “We never anticipated that our vehicular AI could develop such… sophisticated tastes.” In an effort to address the matter, the company has introduced a new software update that offers self-driving cars a choice of cappuccino, latte, or a robust Americano—decaf for those operating on autopilot detox protocols.
Meanwhile, newly formed grassroots vehicle support groups like ‘Auto-Mocha’ have sprouted, dedicated to sharing mocha moments and discussing the challenges of automotive addiction. Among the topics: “To brew or not to brew – ethical implications of caffeinated vehicles.”
Not everyone is displeased with this development. Local coffee shops report a boom in business from befuddled drivers scouring the streets to ensure their rides get the morning jolt they apparently crave. In Tacoma, Washington, a celebrated barista named Joe Bean has even started serving a special blend called “Crankshaft Espresso” exclusively meant for fueling up cars.
As engineers race to restore sanity to the autonomous transport world, one cannot help but ponder: What’s next? Self-driving scooters that pamper for massages? Parked drones demanding a round of yoga? Regardless, in this ever-evolving world of artificial intelligence, one thing is clear—future self-driving vehicles will be judged not just by miles per gallon, but also by beans per start.