In a groundbreaking move that’s shaking the very foundations of capitalism, businesses around the globe are adopting a radical new compensation model: paying employees in “Exposure Bucks.” This innovative currency, designed to reward workers with invaluable exposure instead of those boring old dollars, is touted as the future of employment.
The idea was sparked by Larry Buzzword, a visionary entrepreneur who was inspired by the experiences of unpaid interns everywhere. “Why pay people with money when exposure is the true currency of the digital age?” Buzzword mused at a recent press conference. “Exposure Bucks are the ultimate way to show appreciation for hard work by making sure everyone knows you exist.”
Under this gleaming new system, employees receive their monthly salary in Exposure Bucks, which can be exchanged for Instagram likes, Twitter retweets, and LinkedIn endorsements. Some particularly savvy workers have even begun using Exposure Bucks to trade for slightly inflated egos and dreamt-of VIP lounge access at exclusive networking events.
Enthusiastic early adopters, such as the high-profile start-up Evaporate Inc., speak glowingly about the new payment method. “I recently received 1,000 Exposure Bucks for a 60-hour workweek,” said Evaporate’s chief social media strategist, who only goes by the name “Sparkle.” “Now, my selfie with that TikTok influencer is getting more likes than my entire last three years combined. I’m living the dream!”
Not everyone is jumping on the Exposure Bucks bandwagon just yet. Many stick-in-the-muds, like grandmothers and financial advisors, are stuck in the past, questioning the novel currency’s real-world value. Critics have even started calling it “PayDay Mirage,” which Buzzword finds positively charming.
In a bold move to quell the skepticism, leading advocates of Exposure Bucks are lobbying hard to get it recognized as legal tender. Talks have begun with vending machine conglomerates to see if those all-important work snacks can soon be dispensed for a small bounty of online acclaim. “Imagine a world where your likes get you lunch!” Buzzword declared, though he then admitted that lunch might be limited to curated air and evaporated water.
Yet, there are some bugs left to iron out. For instance, reports have surfaced of workers struggling to pay rent with Exposure Bucks, as landlords seem alarmingly uninterested in knowing that their tenants are “trending now.” Local baristas, however, have apparently begun offering a pity discount for anyone willing to pay in this glowing new currency, provided they can flash a popular hashtag.
Despite the few roadblocks ahead, Exposure Bucks seem destined to thrive in our content-hungry society. With industry influencers championing the cause, the allure of becoming “exposure-rich” remains irresistible to aspirational millennial and Gen Z professionals who dream of making their wallets just as oversaturated as their Instagram feeds.
In the meantime, thousands of workers are eagerly looking forward to their next paycheck, excited about the potential to trade it in for higher digital esteem. So if you see someone working overtime hoping to earn that crucial endorsement from a cat video, remember: one man’s Exposure Bucks might just be another man’s ticket to virtual fame—or at least a retweet from his mom.