In a shocking turn of events, Prime Minister Boris “Glitchmaster” Johnson was recently exposed for using cheat codes during a heated parliamentary debate, plunging the House of Commons into a mixture of confusion, hilarity, and disbelief.
Witnesses report that midway through a particularly tense exchange about budget cuts, the Prime Minister suddenly paused, looked suspiciously at the palms of his hands, and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start.” Within moments, a bewildering transformation took place – the PM’s hair inexplicably became even messier (against all odds), and a glittering force field emerged around him, deflecting verbal jabs with ease.
The cheat code allegedly activated several unforeseen abilities. To the horror of his opponents and the delight of his supporters, Johnson suddenly began to teleport around the chamber. He was seen on the opposition’s benches one moment, sharing a laugh with the SNP, and the next moment, he was poaching M&Ms from Keir Starmer’s supposedly secret stash.
A surprised MP for North Whimsyland, Geraldine Underwhistle, exclaimed, “I always knew he had a trick up his sleeve, but inter-dimensional travel? That’s a new one!”
The climax came when Johnson, with a mere flicker of his fingertips, conjured an endless stack of blank policy papers, which he distributed with bewildering speed to those demanding details of his plans for economic recovery. “Read at your own leisure,” he quipped, with the nonchalance of a seasoned gamer flaunting a god mode cheat.
However, the day took another bizarre turn when a glitch in the code caused the Prime Minister to momentarily morph into an 8-bit cartoon version of himself, prompting loud gasps from the benches. Two parliamentarians attempted to plug him into the nearest USB port, hoping for a reset.
Discussions are currently underway to investigate the potential breaches of parliamentary conduct. The Speaker of the House, clad in a new anti-spell loofah cloak, has called for a record number of votes to determine whether cheat codes should be outlawed in future proceedings. Debate rages on whether it’s fair to have to use next-gen graphics cards to process parliamentary sessions.
Meanwhile, tech-savvy constituents have expressed remorse at missing out on streaming this epoch-defining incident on Twitch. “I tune in for the occasional nighttime Grandmaster debates,” stated avid politics watcher and part-time video game streamer, LaserSquid101. “But hey, this takes the biscuit. Or rather, the 1-Up Mushroom.”
While the political ramifications remain unclear, one thing is certain: British politics just got a bit more like Mario Kart during a lightning storm. As the political dust settles, analysts suggest possible future updates to democracy.exe. Until then, it might just be wise for all MPs to brush up on their cheat codes, because when it comes to politics, every extra life counts.