In an unprecedented move that has left Westminster both baffled and bemused, the Politics Department of Parliament has launched an emergency helpdesk ticket after an MP failed to recall their own party line during a fiercely contested debate on infrastructure funding.
The incident occurred yesterday afternoon when veteran MP Betty Hargrove, representing the district of Wibbleton, appeared to draw a complete blank on the party’s established position regarding bridge repairs. Witnesses say she sat down at the dispatch box, opened her mouth, and instead of reciting the usual “sensible austerity with targeted investment” spiel, launched into an impromptu and entirely unrelated monologue on the virtues of jellybeans.
In what insiders are calling a “code red” scenario, a concerned aide immediately opened a helpdesk ticket titled: “URGENT: MP Experiencing Party Line Memory Failure—Requires Immediate Script Reload.” The ticket detailed the problem succinctly: “MP unable to access current party messaging protocols during live debate; suspected temporary software glitch or possible hard reset required.”
Within minutes, the Politics Department’s internal support team sprang into action, remotely interfacing with Hargrove’s speech notes, GPS location in the debating chamber, and mental subprocesses. After attempts to push a quick update failed, technicians advised a full system reboot in the form of a discreet whisper session in the MP’s ear and a strategic offering of mid-session custard creams.
The episode concluded with Hargrove successfully rejoining the party line just in time to cast her vote, albeit with a lingering question mark visible on her brow. The emergency helpdesk ticket was promptly closed with the note: “User reboot successful; recommend daily manual updates until system stabilization confirmed.”
Political analysts have since speculated whether this incident signals a broader systemic issue within Parliament’s mental operating systems or was merely a one-off glitch caused by late-night fact-checking marathons and caffeine overload.
Meanwhile, the helpdesk team has announced plans to roll out a new feature: a real-time “party line autocorrect” function to prevent future embarrassments. Until then, MPs are advised to keep a paper script handy and avoid sudden memory dumps during high-pressure debates.