In an unprecedented move that has left the nation both amused and perplexed, the British Parliament has announced a groundbreaking new policy aimed at rejuvenating its members: mandatory nap time for all politicians. That’s right, the same individuals who decide on budget allocations, health policies, and national security are now required to tuck themselves in for a mid-afternoon snooze.
The decision, reached after a marathon session that likely warranted its own nap, was apparently inspired by a series of embarrassingly viral incidents involving MPs nodding off during debates. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when a well-known senior MP was caught on camera, mid-snore, dreaming aloud about merging Parliament with Hogwarts to finally “sort out those Muggle voter issues.”
According to the new guidelines, every day at 2 PM sharp, the division bell will chime out a soothing lullaby. Chaos will briefly ensue as politicians scramble for the limited supply of government-issued teddy bears and cozy blankets. The nap period, cleverly coined “The Snooze Clause,” will last precisely 45 minutes and is expected to be strictly enforced by Speaker of the House, Sir Sleepwell Snorelott, who has vowed to patrol the corridors like a hawk—or a particularly vigilant bedtime nanny.
Reactions to the policy have been mixed. Some stalwarts of parliamentary tradition grumbled, claiming “napping is for the weak” while unsuccessfully suppressing a yawn. Meanwhile, a newly formed cross-party group, the Siesta Society, has fully embraced the change, enthusiastically studying the ancient art of power napping and lobbying for additional perks like optional milk and cookies.
Critics have raised concerns over the productivity implications, suggesting that nap time might just be another excuse for members to dodge heated debates and uncomfortable discussions. However, Nap Advocates, as they’ve been unofficially dubbed, argue that rejuvenated politicians will bring fresh perspectives and, at the very least, be less cranky during Question Time.
To support the initiative, Parliament has contracted a popular mattress company to refurnish the lounge with state-of-the-art hammocks and ergonomic napping pods. There are even rumors of a secret underground chamber being converted into a giant ball pit, complete with soothing whale songs and dimmed lighting, to ensure that all political figures drift off to dreamland.
Psychologists have weighed in, noting that this progressive approach might have surprising benefits. “Happy, well-rested politicians could potentially lead to more thoughtful legislation,” said Dr. Lucid Dreamer, a renowned sleep study expert. “Or at the very least, a reduction in the number of bizarrely inappropriate early-morning tweets.”
As the nation watches with eager anticipation, one can only hope that this new wave of snooze-driven policy results in brighter and more innovative leadership. Until then, it will be thrilling enough simply to watch both Parliament’s successes and potential failures unfold… through the lens of heavy eyelids and the soft rustle of Parliamentarian pajamas.