In a groundbreaking, albeit baffling, decision today, Members of Parliament have enacted a bill that officially recognizes “Passing the Buck” as Britain’s new national sport. In a press conference that was more comedy show than governmental briefing, Minister of Inconsequential Decisions, Sir Lionel Blithering, explained that the move was aimed at boosting national morale and providing a competitive outlet for the nation’s finest finger-pointers.
“After extensive consultations with various experts in procrastination and evasion,” Sir Blithering explained, “we’ve concluded that Britons excel in Passing the Buck. It was high time this skill received the formal recognition it deserves.”
The sport, which requires no special equipment aside from a conveniently placed desk and a well-practiced ability to throw colleagues under metaphorical buses, will be promoted across the nation with all the vigour typically reserved for cricket and football. Matches are expected to take place in any setting where responsibility can be artfully deflected—from boardrooms to break rooms, from government departments to social gatherings.
The rules of this new sport are, unsurprisingly, still being defined. However, initial ideas include points for creative justification of responsibility avoidance, with bonus points awarded for introducing particularly convoluted bureaucratic processes that no one fully understands. Additional accolades will be given to those who can successfully change the topic of a meeting without anyone realizing.
Critics have mocked the idea as “laughable”, while supporters argue it’s a pragmatic reflection of reality. “Look,” said an optimistic junior minister, “our political system has been perfecting Passing the Buck for centuries—this just gives it a bit of spit and polish!”
The first National Championship is set to take place in Westminster, where Parliament itself will be divided into teams. “Team Treasury, captained by the Chancellor, will face off against Team Foreign Affairs, who are already considered favourites due to their extensive experience in shaking things off,” reported sports commentator and affable shenanigan analyst, Sandy Dunce.
Concerns were raised about potential injuries, sparking quick clarification from the government. “We’re fairly confident no one will be physically hurt,” assured Sir Blithering, “though reputations, credibility, and perhaps sanity are absolutely fair game.”
Unsurprisingly, merchandise for Passing the Buck has already begun to flood the market, ranging from buck-shaped stress balls to motivational mugs emblazoned with slogans like, “Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys” and the bestseller, “I’m Just the Messenger.”
Though reactions are mixed, most agree that at the very least, the announcement has provided a moment of levity in a climate fraught with challenges. As Sir Blithering concluded, “In these serious times, it’s important we remember to embrace our strengths and, perhaps, learn to laugh at our weaknesses. Besides, who knows, maybe next we’ll declare ‘Dodging the Question’ as an Olympic event.”