In a legislative blooper that has left the nation both amused and astounded, Parliament has accidentally passed a bill that designates every single day of the year as a national holiday. In what can only be described as a frenzied cocktail of caffeine, optimism, and perhaps a dash of wishful thinking, lawmakers have collectively assured citizens that this snafu will, at the very least, boost morale.
The incident took place during what was supposed to be a routine parliamentary session. Sources inside the chamber reported that the debate over increasing paid leave for workers took a bizarre turn when an errant amendment was left unscreened thanks to a clerical oversight. The text declared an array of unfamiliar holidays like “National Appreciate Your Toaster Day” and “International Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day,” slipping the fine print that every day henceforth is a day off.
“I’m honestly not even sure who tabled the amendment,” admitted one Member of Parliament, who requested anonymity due to ongoing face-palming. “If I’d known proposing a year-round staycation was an option, I’d have done it years ago.”
The Prime Minister has attempted damage control by reminding everyone that although this technically makes every day a holiday, the economy still needs to run. However, the Transport Secretary remains locked out of his office after subordinates declared “National Keep Your Boss Out” day.
Social media platforms have exploded with a mix of jubilation and bewilderment. #LivingTheHoliday has been trending globally, with users posting photos of themselves juggling their sudden daily freedom. This new reality has sparked innovative trends like micro-vacations, where individuals take 30-minute trips to their local park benches to savor the ambiance, knowing full well civilization may very well grind to a confused halt.
Meanwhile, business owners are scrambling to decipher how to maintain productivity amid this legislative landslide. Local shops are offering holiday-themed flash sales, peddling items like inflatable beach toys for “National Desk as a Pool Day.” Meanwhile, pub owners are thrilled yet wary of what a daily “Happy Hour” might entail for public order.
Critics have dubbed this a bureaucratic Armageddon but remain undecided on a course of action, primarily because they’re unsure whether they can form a committee to discuss it amidst “National Let’s Do Nothing Day.” Amid this chaos, the international community watches with bemusement, with some countries mulling over the idea of adopting the plan, ensuring an endless vacation in solidarity.
The Speaker of the House has already scheduled an emergency session to rectify the blunder, but the session inadvertently falls on “National Avoid Work If You Can Day,” casting doubt on attendance.
In the meantime, the nation holds its collective breath (except on “National Inhale Freely Day”) and waits to see whether this unexpected turn of events will be legislation’s biggest gag reel. As a citizenry rallies to celebrate the joyous absurdity, perhaps this brief flirtation with eternal leisure will serve as a reminder of the importance of balance—or at least inspire a new reality show: “Permanent Bank Holiday Island.”