In an unprecedented revelation that has sent millennials and Gen Z into a frenzy, a new study conducted by the prestigious institute of Ludicrous Health Innovations (LHI) has discovered that sleeping in a bathtub filled with avocado toast can increase one’s vitality by a whopping 42%. The news has come as a blessing for those who have long pondered the meaning of well-being, trendy breakfasts, and questionable life choices.
The study, which ran over the course of an astonishing 42 hours, involved a test group of 100 volunteers who willingly submerged themselves in bathtubs overflowing with the smashed green delicacy atop crispy artisan bread. Participants were monitored closely by scientists who only raised an eyebrow or two. According to LHI’s leading avocado expert, Dr. Guac Amole, the results were as startling as they were unexpected.
“Initially, we just wanted to find a use for all the leftover avocado toast from brunch cafes,” Dr. Amole admitted, reaching for a piece of toast from a nearby clipboard. “Little did we know that this breakfast staple harbored such secret powers.”
Volunteers reported feeling refreshed, revitalized, and ready to face the day with a zest they hadn’t experienced since their pre-caffeine era. “It was like being wrapped in a heavenly cocoon of hipster nourishment,” said one participant, who now insists he has x-ray-like vision and the ability to discern artisanal jams from supermarket brands with suspicious accuracy.
The research doesn’t come without controversy, however. Critics have raised concerns regarding the ethical treatment of avocados and questioned whether this newfound vitality isn’t just a result of the participants’ misguided sense of invincibility after surviving such an unusual ordeal. Nevertheless, avocado bath enthusiasts remain unfazed.
Social media influencers were quick to endorse the trend, with hashtags like #AvocadoAwakening and #ToastSubmerge gaining traction faster than you can say “overripe.” A series of tutorials have already emerged on platforms like TikTok, guiding users on how to create the perfect in-bath avocado toast experience—with varying degrees of success and squishiness.
Despite the study’s surprising outcome, the avocado toast bath isn’t for everyone. The report notes a concerning rise in bathroom slip hazards, not to mention the questionable state of one’s plumbing after a week-long trial.
Plumbing professionals have also voiced their concerns. “Pipes just aren’t built for this kind of overload,” noted Joe Plumbly of Nutty Pipes Co. “I can’t tell what’s worse: unclogging drains stuffed with squashed avocados or explaining to homeowners that their pipes have turned into guacamole factories.”
As the findings continue to make waves—or should we say, ripples—in the realms of health and breakfast cuisine, the question remains: Is this the future of wellness, or is it simply a new excuse for brunch lovers to avoid rising grocery costs?
For those inspired to try an avocado toast bath experience tonight, Dr. Amole advises proceeding with caution, a floaty, and maybe, just maybe, a pool noodle for safety assurance. After all, as the age-old saying goes, one man’s avocado is another man’s life raft.