In a move that surprised both astronomers and interior decorators alike, NASA has unveiled its ambitious and brightly colored project, codenamed “Operation Moonshine.” The plan? To paint the moon a cheerful shade of yellow, ensuring better nighttime visibility and staving off Earth’s well-documented issues with street lighting.
“We’ve always been about pushing boundaries,” said Dr. Luna Bright, NASA’s newly appointed Head of Celestial Aesthetics. “We want to take lunar modification to new heights and answer the age-old question: What if the moon could really be made of cheese? Well, maybe not cheese, but at least it’ll look like gouda!”
The project, estimated to cost a modest $3.8 billion, aims to eliminate the need for countless street lamps, theoretically reducing global electricity consumption by a whopping 0.0003%. Environmentalists and accountants are equally baffled and amazed.
Skeptics, however, are raising concerns. “What about its impact on the tides?” mused Dr. Waver Ryder, an ocean enthusiast and professed part-time merman. “If the moon becomes too eye-catching, won’t our oceans start wearing sunglasses, too?”
The exact shade of yellow, according to insider leaks, is still hotly debated within NASA’s Color Coordination Committee. Sources suggest they are leaning towards a hue known as “Lunar Lemonade,” popularized by aardvark-themed kindergartens and 1970s roller discos.
To accomplish this monumental makeover, NASA plans to partner with an array of groundbreaking companies, including SpaceX, Crayola, and the long-forgotten Glow-in-the-Dark Paint Conglomerate of Akron, Ohio. The collaborative effort will involve sophisticated paint-drones equipped with tiny moon boots to prevent slipping, and highly specialized ladders that reach, quite literally, for the stars.
Critics question if painting the moon will have unforeseen consequences on every werewolf’s monthly metamorphosis, but NASA assures they have consulted a panel of werewolf rights activists who are simply thrilled. “Finally, no more stumbling around on cloudy nights!” exclaimed one enthusiast, his tail wagging furiously.
Inhabitants of Earth are being encouraged to view the project from a creative perspective. “This is historic,” said local artist Starry Nightson. “Think of all the romantic poetry and awkward first date conversations it’ll inspire. ‘Aw, look at the moo—oh wow, it’s so bright!’ Classic.”
NASA is optimistic the repainting will be complete by 2025, or at the very least, in time for the next total solar eclipse when the moon can hide in the sun’s shadow and trot embarrassed back to its previous calming shade. Until then, Earth’s residents are encouraged to stock up on their favorite shades of sunglasses and prepare to bask in the warm glow of our newly vibrant nocturnal friend.