In a groundbreaking announcement this week, NASA revealed its ambitious plan to open the first-ever restaurant on the Moon, promising diners an out-of-this-world experience complete with cosmic cuisine and astronomically high service standards. However, the statement has left critics scratching their heads and others ironically muttering, “Swiss say what now?”

According to NASA spokespeople, the lunar eatery, tentatively named “LunaTaste,” is set to open in 2025 and will feature a delectable menu crafted to delight even the most discerning palates of traditional Earth-denizens and potentially other interstellar clientele. The space agency claims it wants to bolster human presence in outer space, but skeptics are convinced there’s more on the menu than just gourmet delicacies. They argue this venture is a thinly veiled mission to mine the Moon’s alleged abundance of cheese.

Rumors of the Moon’s cheesy core have persisted for years, originally popularized by Wallace and Gromit, and now they are finding renewed life thanks to the culinary concept. Pundits insist that mozzarella, Stilton, and even the long-elusive Goudan debris are at the heart of NASA’s moon-fed ambitions, which could render this venture the cheesiest operation in space history.

“We all know the Moon’s surface is notoriously cheese-rich,” declared conspiracy-theorist and retired part-time dairy farmer, Bert Cheddarson. “Just think about it! Why else would cows moon-jump? They’ve been trying to get back to their homeland—to reclaim. NASA’s just milking this opportunity,” he said, somehow keeping a straight face.

NASA, however, waxes poetic about dining with a view of the Earthrise and the stand-out culinary features LunaTaste will showcase. Initial mock-ups released to the public highlight not only authentic Moon-shakes (which aren’t milkshakes, so says NASA) but also anti-gravity fondue fountains. An anticipated clientele of wealthy Earthlings craving dining exclusivity and astronauts yearning for more than the typical “astronaut ice cream” should prepare to shoot for the Moon (fine-print: customers launch at their own risk, heights may vary).

Despite doubters, NASA has pushed ahead, collaborating with various celebrity chefs. Rumors suggest Gordon Ramsay might teach Martian cooking classes live from the site, and Salt Bae is allegedly already practicing his signature flourish on flight-certified freezedried schnitzels.

In an unexpected turn of events, Elon Musk has tweeted his support, hinting at potential cross-promotion with his interplanetary travel firm, SpaceX. “Dinner AND a Moon walk? Sign me up! Breadknife close by to keep the aliens at bay,” he quipped.

While NASA won’t confirm or deny any cheesy intentions, a spokesperson coyly noted, “Let’s just say diners will learn that our favorite satellite is more grate than they’ve been led to believe.”

So, while the debate rages on, one thing is clear—whether for the cheese or the cheese souffle, our lunar neighbor might soon host the only dining spot where you’ll dig in while sporting a space helmet. As we await lift-off, diners should brush up on their zero-gravity etiquette: Remember, without gravity, it’s important not to launch your fork into orbit by accident—space etiquette 101.