In an unprecedented display of arboreal activism, a local oak tree named Oliver has organized the neighborhood’s first ever Tree Meeting to address a growing concern: excessive hugging. Residents of Maple Grove have long cherished the tradition of hugging their leafy friends for comfort, but Oliver says it’s gotten out of hand.
“We appreciate the love,” Oliver told reporters (through a series of enthusiastic leaf rustles and branch gestures), “but some of these hugs are getting downright suffocating. I can’t photosynthesize properly when someone’s clinging to me every five minutes.”
Oliver’s supporters say the problem started innocently enough with the town’s annual Hug Your Tree Day, which has since turned into daily hugging marathons spearheaded by local yoga instructors and self-proclaimed “tree healers.”
Susan, a longtime Maple Grove resident and frequent hugger, admitted she might have gone too far. “I just wanted to thank them for their support during tough times. I didn’t realize the trees needed personal space too.”
The meeting, held beneath Oliver’s sprawling branches, drew a crowd of both trees and humans. Maple, birch, and even a shy little willow voiced their complaints — everything from excessive trunk squeezing to persistent climbing attempts.
The town council was present, secretly relieved that a verbal complaint from a tree preempted what could have been a formal petition demanding “No Hug Zones.”
To ease tensions, Oliver suggested a compromise: embrace the habit of “air hugging”—a respectful distance hug that respects the tree’s personal space and oxygen production. It remains to be seen whether the town’s hugging enthusiasts will take the new guidelines to heart or stick to their clingy ways.
For now, Oliver stands firm, leaves at the ready, hoping for a balanced coexistence where trees are cherished but not crushed. Locals are advised to approach with love—and maybe just a polite wave.