After standing tall and silent through countless seasons, a local oak tree known affectionately as Old Barksworth has finally decided to seek therapy, citing decades of feeling “leafed out” and underappreciated.
The towering specimen, which has been a fixture in Maplewood Park since the 1800s, reportedly expressed feelings of neglect and emotional distress during a recent chat with the town’s community counselor, Dr. Hazel Budsworth.
“It’s like no one ever really *listens* to me,” Old Barksworth is said to have lamented. “They admire my leaves in spring and shade in summer, but come autumn, I’m just a pile of dead foliage on the ground. And winter? Don’t get me started. I’m completely naked—nobody wants that kind of exposure.”
Friends of Old Barksworth describe him as a stalwart presence who’s always offered a comforting rustle in the wind and a sturdy branch to lean on, but who has rarely shared his own feelings. “We always thought he was just being quiet or stoic,” said a nearby birch tree named Birchie. “Turns out, he’s been bottled up inside like a squirrel hoarding nuts all winter.”
Dr. Budsworth has assured the community that Old Barksworth’s feelings are valid and that therapy will focus on grounding techniques, developing strong roots in the present, and perhaps exploring some deep branching out.
In an exclusive interview, Old Barksworth also revealed a long-standing envy of the flashy flowering cherry trees and aspired to “blossom into something more,” though he admits he’s come to appreciate his hardy, classic oak charm.
Local residents have rallied around the therapy-bound tree, setting up a donation fund for his self-care needs, which reportedly include regular watering, occasional fertilizer, and a new set of authentic leaf-print pajamas for chilly nights.
Critics have questioned the effectiveness of therapy for trees. “Next thing you know, the fence post will want a support group,” grumbled Mr. Thistle, a wary gardener.
But for now, Old Barksworth is optimistic about the path ahead, reminding everyone that even the oldest, most solid beings need a little help sometimes—and that being leafed out isn’t the end of the world, just the start of a new chapter.