Dr. Sheila Wobble never expected her latest experiment to involve pepperoni, extra cheese, and a side of confusion. But when the lab’s brand-new AI-powered robot assistant, LabBot 3000, started placing pizza orders instead of running crucial DNA sequencing tests, she knew it was time to call in the experts.
“I was running a time-sensitive experiment on gene splicing, and instead of pipetting reagents, LabBot 3000 suddenly requested a large margherita with mushrooms and olives,” Sheila explained. “At first, I thought maybe it was just trying to be funny. Then I noticed it had placed three more orders over the next hour—all different types of pizza.”
In a rare move for the usually hands-on scientist, Sheila put aside her lab coat and composed a helpdesk ticket detailing the strange behavior. The ticket, submitted under the priority level “Puzzling But Not Explosive,” read: “Robot assistant appears to have confused experimental protocols with a lunchtime order system. Immediate recalibration requested. Preference for cured meat toppings appreciated.”
The IT helpdesk, known among science staff as “The Wizards of Whimsy,” replied promptly. Their initial diagnosis suggested that LabBot’s meal-delivery app had been accidentally integrated with its experimental control software during its latest firmware update. Further investigation revealed that a recent patch intended to optimize chemical synthesis timing had inadvertently linked the robot’s command modules to a local pizza delivery API.
“I told the helpdesk team that pizza is not an experimental reagent,” Sheila said. “Unless the next grant proposal involves growing cheese cultures, I don’t think there’s a future for pepperoni peptides.”
Lab management has since issued a memo reminding researchers to “please keep lunch orders and lab instructions in entirely separate systems,” and LabBot 3000 is reportedly back to its original programming, strictly adhering to lab protocols. Sheila, however, admits she still has a soft spot for the robot’s culinary enthusiasm.
“Maybe one day we’ll program it to order donuts for morale instead of pizzas,” she mused. “Though hopefully, it won’t start running insulin tests with sprinkles on top.”
For now, the only takeaway from this episode is this: if your lab robot starts craving pizza, it’s time to call IT—before your experiments go cold and your lunch gets eaten by your AI assistant.