In an unprecedented tech-meets-biology incident, a local scientist found themselves baffled when their DNA strand stubbornly refused to unzip, leading to an emergency shutdown of their lab and an urgent call to the IT helpdesk.
Dr. Martin Spliffleton, a geneticist at the slightly underfunded Barkingside Research Institute, was in the middle of a routine experiment on gene replication when the trouble started. “I was about to initiate the strand separation, as usual, but the DNA just… didn’t respond,” explained Spliffleton. “It was as if it had locked itself tighter than my old high school locker.”
After multiple unsuccessful attempts to coax the DNA open using standard lab protocols, Martin found himself reaching for the lifeline usually reserved for frozen laptops and password resets: the IT helpdesk. “I dialed the extension with a bit of hesitation,” he admitted, “half-expecting them to tell me to turn the DNA off and on again.”
The IT technician on the other end, Craig from Helpdesk Support, reportedly struggled to keep a straight face when explaining, “Look, I’m sorry but we generally deal with hardware and software issues. Something tells me a molecule refusing to unzip might be out of our scope.” Nevertheless, being a committed helper, Craig guided Dr. Spliffleton through what was described in the ticket as “attempts to gently reboot the double helix.”
The ticket—number 4721B-ZIP—was marked urgent after the DNA’s refusal set off the lab’s emergency protocols, including a full shutdown to prevent any “genetic meltdown,” an alert new phrase that baffled most staff but delighted local journalists.
After an hour-long troubleshooting session, including a spirited debate over whether to escalate the issue to molecular support services, it was eventually discovered that the problem was less technological and more biological: a carefully calibrated buffer solution had been mistakenly swapped for superglue.
Spliffleton sighed with relief. “Turns out my DNA wasn’t broken; it just had a serious bonding issue.” He plans to follow up the incident with a seminar titled “When to Call IT and When to Call a Chemist.”
As for the IT helpdesk, they have updated their user guide to include a friendly disclaimer: “We do not cover genetic malfunctions. Have you tried turning the cell off and on again?”