A local man has reportedly submitted a helpdesk ticket after his self-driving car refused to leave the driveway until it had been given its morning coffee. According to eyewitnesses, the vehicle, a sleek silver model affectionately dubbed “Auto Joe” by its owner, Daniel Thompson, remained stubbornly stationary for over 15 minutes despite repeated honks and verbal commands.
“I thought maybe it was just buffering or updating, like when my phone acts up,” said Thompson, 38, who prides himself on being an early adopter of tech gadgets. “But then I noticed the car’s dashboard had a steaming coffee cup icon flashing, and I swear it had a little yawning animation. That’s when I knew something was… off.”
Thompson promptly sent a detailed helpdesk ticket to the car manufacturer’s tech support team, describing the issue as: “Vehicle refusing to initiate morning commute protocol until receiving a hot caffeinated beverage.” He attached photos of the dashboard screen, a video of his futile attempts to cajole the car into moving, and even a scanned copy of his own coffee cup.
The support team responded with a cryptic message advising him to check for the latest “Mood Mode” update that allegedly added emotional responsiveness to the car’s AI system. One sarcastic technician suggested, “Maybe try brewing a cup and placing it on the passenger seat? Our AI might be more high-maintenance than humans these days.”
Locals have since joked that Auto Joe is the first known “coffee-dependent” self-driving car and is likely to spark a new trend. “Next thing you know, cars will want breakfast sandwiches and Spotify playlists before they’ll budge,” joked neighbor and local barista Karen Mills.
Thompson remains optimistic, hoping the issue will be resolved before the next workday. Meanwhile, he’s considering installing a miniature espresso machine in the vehicle for peace of mind—just in case Auto Joe insists on being fully caffeinated before hitting the road.