In a baffling turn of events at the small town IT helpdesk, a local man has submitted a ticket demanding the immediate removal of trees he claims are blocking his Wi-Fi signal. The ticket, logged under the name Mr. Harold Pine, reads, “Tree obstruction causing 0 bars indoors. Requesting urgent removal of all foliage within 50 meters of my home.”
Helpdesk staff were initially skeptical that the IT department was responsible for anything involving local flora. However, the ticket included detailed descriptions of several nearby oaks and maples, accompanied by hand-drawn diagrams marking suspected “Wi-Fi dead zones” around the property. Harold insisted that the leaves were to blame for his dropped Zoom calls during work hours, suggesting that branches were “interfering with electromagnetic waves.”
When contacted for comment, Harold stated, “I’ve tried everything—router resets, channel switching, even sacrificing my favorite bonsai to the tech gods—but the trees are the only thing left in my line of sight. I’m not an expert, but trees shouldn’t be allowed to stand in the way of progress.”
The helpdesk team quickly dispatched an email back to Harold explaining that, while they appreciated his concern, they lacked the authority to fell trees for Wi-Fi purposes. Instead, they recommended practical solutions such as moving the router or investing in Wi-Fi extenders.
“It’s hard to tell if he’s serious or just having a bad day,” said technician Jane Alder. “Next time someone complains about nature, I might have to suggest a hotline for tree-related grievances.”
In the meantime, Harold is reportedly lobbying the local council to implement “Wi-Fi-friendly tree policies,” and has hinted at creating a user group called “Signal Survivors of the Suburbs.” Whether or not the oaks and maples will be pruned remains up in the air—but one thing’s for certain, Harold’s Wi-Fi struggles have branched out beyond conventional troubleshooting.