In what experts are calling a “seasonal first,” a local man has filed a formal helpdesk ticket after his backyard tree refused to stop dropping leaves during autumn. The ticket, submitted on Tuesday morning to the “Nature Support” helpdesk—an imaginary service he created on his own laptop—outlined a serious complaint against the tree’s ongoing leaf drop behavior.
Kevin Trimble, 42, described the issue in meticulous detail: “Since about September, this tree has been shedding thousands of leaves every day like it’s trying to carpet my entire garden. I’ve tried raking, I’ve tried pleading, but nothing stops it.” In the ticket, Kevin requested an urgent software patch or, failing that, a firmware update to prevent his tree from continuing its “annoying and highly inconvenient seasonal shedding.”
Despite the helpdesk’s promising auto-response—“Have you tried turning the tree off and on again?”—no solution has yet been implemented. Kevin confessed he’s growing increasingly frustrated by the leaf onslaught, stating, “I even Googled ‘how to stop a tree from dropping leaves’ and every answer basically said, ‘that’s what trees do.’ I was hoping for a fix, not a resignation.”
Local arborists were reached out to for comment but reportedly declined to intervene, suggesting instead things like patience and “embracing nature.” However, Kevin remains undeterred. His next step? Filing a second ticket demanding the tree be “replaced with a non-deciduous model” or that “the whole neighborhood agrees to turn off autumn this year.”
Meanwhile, neighbors have begun to notice Kevin’s newfound obsession, with one commenting, “I thought he was just well-organized until I saw his detailed spreadsheets tracking leaf numbers per day. Now I’m kind of worried about what he’ll ticket next—maybe the squirrels?”
Whether Nature Support will ever respond to Kevin’s pleas is yet to be seen, but one thing is clear: for Kevin, this autumn may never truly fall into place.