Gary Thompson, a 47-year-old resident of Wrexham, has been baffling mechanics and baffling himself by insisting his 1982 Ford Granada is simply too old to break down. Despite this confident claim, the car has developed a peculiar habit of halting abruptly every single morning on the commute to his office—thus prompting what has been described by local garage staff as “the most patient helpdesk ticket in automotive history.”
The saga began last Tuesday when Gary submitted a helpdesk ticket to the Wrexham Auto Repair Center via their new online system, headlined: “Car refuses to break down because it’s too old.” The technicians were initially perplexed but took on the challenge as a puzzle. Gary’s ticket detailed the gentlemanly dignified stats of his Ford Granada: “Thirty-eight years young, runs smoother than my mother-in-law’s Sunday roast, and far too classic to give up now.”
Yet, as he described in his lament, the Granada performed an ironic daily rebellion: stalling mysteriously every single morning while crossing the town’s infamous roundabout. “It’s like clockwork,” Gary explained. “I swear she’s just making a point — ‘too old to break? We’ll see about that.'”
Helpdesk attendants noted that the ticket was marked ‘pending’ for several hours while one technician attempted to remotely Google “Can a car be too old *not* to break down?”—a question that apparently stumped even AI chatbots.
When they finally tested the car, they discovered the cause: a tenacious squirrel had taken residence in the engine bay, gnawing through spark plug wires overnight. Gary was heartbroken but remained undeterred, telling the technician, “If she’s going to break, she’ll do it on her own terms. That squirrel’s just an accomplice.”
Wrexham Auto Repair says they’ve now issued Gary a complimentary squirrel-proof engine cover, along with some advice: “Sometimes, the oldest things aren’t the most reliable, but they sure make life interesting.”
Gary says he hopes to keep driving his Granada for as long as possible. “If it takes a squirrel this clever to get my car off the road, I say bring on the wildlife.”