In a revelation that’s sure to shock both culinary experts and anyone who just enjoys a good meal, 43-year-old Greg Watson of the sleepy town of Upper Cheesewidge has come forward with an extraordinary claim: he has invented a revolutionary new dish by placing lettuce between two slices of pizza, which he insists qualifies as the original sandwich.
Watson, known locally for his ability to eat an entire party sub while discussing his favorite episodes of *The Great British Bake Off*, announced his breakthrough at the community’s annual “Food and Footy” festival. As townsfolk gathered around the gazebo, Watson unceremoniously unveiled his two-tiered delicacy, hastily named the “Pizzwich,” much to the bemusement of his fellow townspeople.
“The idea came to me as a bolt of genius,” he recounted, proudly gesturing to his meticulously crafted creation. “There I was, left with nothing but the remnants of last night’s pizza feast and a wilting head of iceberg lettuce. That’s when it struck me: Why let societal norms dictate what a sandwich can be?”
His audience, initially confused, quickly rallied behind Watson, encouraging him as he conducted a live demonstration of constructing the “Pizzwich.” Using a solemn tone typically reserved for narrating nature documentaries, he explained how the crunch of the lettuce provided the ideal counterpoint to the gooey interplay of cheese and tomato sauce.
Experts, meanwhile, are puzzled by these new dynamics in carbohydrate deployment, with some purists arguing that the bread component is non-negotiable when discussing sandwiches. “What Watson has done is nothing less than gastronomical rebellion,” commented Professor Gwendolyn Crumplethorpe of the Greater Midlands Institute of Sandwich Studies. “It’s akin to suggesting that a cup of tea made with seawater and hot dog juice is still a cup of tea. Outrageous, yet oddly intriguing.”
Not to be outdone, Watson is already planning his next culinary venture, which he describes as a ‘bagel deconstructed’. It involves wrapping two halves of a bagel around a whole bagel, thus enhancing the bagel experience exponentially—a claim that has once again left dietary logicians reaching for the nearest bottle of headache tablets.
While the debate continues to rage, there’s one thing for certain: Watson’s contribution to the culinary world has left diners everywhere pondering the limits of food categorization—when they’re not just trying to work out if a slice of cake wrapped in a baguette qualifies as a legitimate dessert option. Regardless of the ultimate verdict, one sentiment remains clear: creativity knows no bounds, especially when there’s leftover pizza to be repurposed.