In what can only be described as a culinary communication breakdown of epic proportions, a local man recently contacted the food delivery helpdesk after encountering an unexpected barrier while attempting to place his pizza order as a beverage.
The saga began last Thursday evening when Tim Harris, 34, from the small town of Netherford, dialed the helpdesk of Pizza Palace with a complaint that left the operator momentarily speechless. According to the call transcript leaked to our reporters, Harris insisted that the pizza he was ordering should be classified—and thus charged—as a beverage rather than a solid food item.
“I was just trying to be clever,” Harris admitted in a follow-up interview, “because I figured if I ordered a pizza as a drink, maybe I’d get a discount or at least a free straw. But the operator was having none of it.”
The confusion stemmed from Harris’s attempt to exploit what he described as “loopholes in the delivery app.” By selecting the beverage category for his two-topping pepperoni pizza, he hoped the system would automatically apply a ‘happy hour drink discount’ that was advertised prominently that evening.
The helpdesk operator, Jamie, explained that after an initial polite attempt to clarify, the conversation rapidly deteriorated. “When I told Tim that a pizza isn’t a drink, he asked if we delivered ‘drinkable pizzas,’ and I had to stifle a laugh before explaining that such a thing isn’t on our menu or anywhere on the internet, really.”
Harris became increasingly frustrated, questioning the very nature of pizza and beverages. “I thought maybe technology had advanced enough for us to enjoy our favorite foods in liquid form. I even suggested pizza smoothies,” he said, hopeful.
The incident ended with Harris politely hanging up after being informed that the app was designed to prevent ordering solid foods as drinks and advised to place his order properly to avoid delays.
In a surprising twist, Pizza Palace decided to reward Harris’s inventive spirit by creating a limited-edition “Pizza Smoothie” for April Fools’ Day, which involves blending tomato sauce, mozzarella, pepperoni, and a splash of olive oil into a drinkable concoction. Although several customers reported that the beverage did not satisfy the craving for actual pizza, it did cause a spike in social media buzz.
For now, Tim Harris continues to advocate for more flexible ordering options, just in case someone, somewhere, is ready for pizza to take a sip out of the beverage market. Meanwhile, delivery drivers everywhere are relieved that the age of drinkable pizzas is still firmly in the realm of comedy fiction.