In what experts are calling “a remarkable achievement in backyard engineering and confused enthusiasm,” a local man has inadvertently launched his garden shed into orbit, promptly declaring it the newest international space station.
Kevin Plumb, 42, from the quiet town of Little Whimsy, was reportedly attempting to install a new weather vane on his shed when he accidentally activated a homemade rocket propulsion system. According to Kevin’s neighbor, Carol Jenkins, “It was like a barbecue and a fireworks show collided right in his garden. One minute he was trying to fix the roof, the next thing we know, his shed took off like a confused space explorer.”
The shed, a modest wooden structure complete with garden tools and a suspicious number of empty coffee mugs, reached low Earth orbit within minutes. Local authorities confirmed that the shed currently circles the planet every 90 minutes, occasionally broadcasting static-filled messages picked up by ham radio enthusiasts worldwide.
“I just wanted to keep an eye on the weather from up close,” Kevin explained. “Turns out, if you strap a few million pounds of questionable rocket fuel to plywood, you get a first-class ticket to the stars. It’s definitely the best DIY project I’ve ever done.”
NASA has reportedly sent a formal request to Kevin for more details about his “unorthodox propulsion method,” while the European Space Agency is considering renaming its next mission in honor of Kevin’s “shed-venturous spirit.” Meanwhile, Kevin has begun recruiting volunteers for what he calls “Shedstation Crewed Missions,” promising free gardening tips and zero gravity coffee breaks.
Local officials are scrambling to negotiate the airspace rights and reentry protocols of the now infamous orbiting shed, but Kevin remains unfazed, insisting that, “Shedstation is here to stay. Next up: zero-g barbecues and space composting.”
As the world watches this unique blend of horticulture and aerospace innovation orbit steadily overhead, one thing is clear: Kevin’s accidental venture has truly redefined the phrase “taking your garden to new heights.”