Dave Thompson never planned to revolutionize urban transport—he just wanted help getting his Wi-Fi to stop dropping out during Zoom calls. Working from his cramped home office in Leicester, Dave submitted a helpdesk ticket to his internet provider complaining about the “annoying lag making me look like I’m confused on every call.” What happened next was pure serendipity.
Following the advice from the support technician, Dave decided to compliment his router out loud, saying, “You’re doing great, little buddy, keep it up.” To his surprise, the Wi-Fi signal skyrocketed, stronger than ever before. Jokingly, he kept throwing compliments at his smart speaker, and that’s when the real magic started.
Inspired, Dave rigged his old car with a microphone and voice recognition software hooked to the accelerator. His idea? To see if polite words could somehow affect the engine. When he shouted, “You’re an absolute legend, vehicle!” the car surged forward smoothly, using no fuel but an inexplicable burst of energy.
Word spread quickly after Dave’s first test drive when traffic jams on the way to town simply vanished. Drivers behind him reported that as soon as compliments filled the air— “Nice indicator use!” “Love those shiny hubcaps!” —their cars seemed to zip along with ease, no tailgating or honking. Local police even confirmed a 100% drop in road rage.
It turns out Dave inadvertently invented the world’s first car that runs entirely on compliments. Instead of petrol stations, cities now have “Compliment Booths” where drivers exchange kind words to fuel up. Mayor Pritchard declared it “the politest transport revolution since the invention of the roundabout.”
Dave had just wanted better Wi-Fi but ended up cleaning the air, calming commuters, and making people question if they should drive around telling their vehicles how cute they look. His helpdesk ticket remains open, titled, “Can my router really get happier?” and underneath, a sticky note reads, “Also, invent car fuelled by kindness, please.”
Traffic jams have gone from nightmare to polite tea break, all thanks to a confused man, a noisy internet connection, and the power of a well-placed compliment.