In what can only be described as a case of cosmic confusion, local CEO Barry Buttons inadvertently launched his entire company, Widgets Unlimited, into outer space last Tuesday. The incident occurred during a routine conference call with Elon Musk’s SpaceX team, which Barry admits he “totally misread the instructions on sending packages via Starlink.”
According to eyewitness reports, Barry was attempting to send a large shipment of office supplies to the new Widgets Unlimited warehouse when he accidentally pressed a button labeled “Initiate Falcon Heavy Launch Sequence.” The next thing anyone knew, the company’s headquarters—err, main building—was rocketing skyward at an alarming speed.
“It was like watching a giant paperclip take flight,” said office manager Linda Gibbs, clutching her coffee as she watched the familiar beige prefab structure disappear behind the clouds. “One minute we were prepping for quarterly reports, the next, we were all waving goodbye to HR.”
SpaceX representatives later confirmed that the facility, along with Barry and 27 employees, is currently in a stable orbit around Earth. Elon Musk responded to the chaos on Twitter with a simple, “Uh, was that supposed to happen?”
Barry, however, is far from amused. In a hastily arranged video call conducted from a surprisingly intact conference room inside the orbiting building, he demanded a refund and “some serious customer support” from Musk. “I just wanted a bulk delivery. Now I’m an interstellar CEO. I mean, who budgeted for space fuel?” he lamented.
Meanwhile, Widgets Unlimited employees have reportedly begun holding casual meetings in zero gravity, with the finance team reportedly delighted at being able to “float above the spreadsheets.” Barry is reportedly negotiating with NASA to downgrade the company’s orbit to something more “business casual,” citing concerns about Wi-Fi stability and the lack of good coffee in space.
Investors are cautiously optimistic, viewing the incident as a cosmic publicity stunt—even if it was completely unintentional. As one analyst quipped, “If Widgets Unlimited can thrive in space, just imagine what they can do back on Earth.”
For now, residents of the town can only wave at the tiny, spinning office building high above and hope Barry remembers to send the quarterly newsletter back down to Earth.