In a bold move that has left caffeine lovers scratching their heads and hydration enthusiasts cheering, Brew & Blink café has unveiled its latest innovation: water-flavored coffee. The unexpected concoction has sparked a mix of confusion, curiosity, and mild amusement among the local community.
“The idea came to me during a late-night existential crisis,” confessed café owner Jerry Beans, stroking his meticulously groomed mustache. “People keep telling me coffee is too strong or makes them jittery. So I thought, why not give them the refreshing essence of water with just a hint of coffee? It’s revolutionary.”
The drink, which Brew & Blink has dubbed “Aqua Java,” looks suspiciously like plain water. Jerry claims it is brewed using the café’s signature beans but processed in a way that removes 99.9% of all coffee flavor, caffeine, and anything that might cause excitement or real taste. However, test-tasting customers reported a faint whisper of roasted bean nostalgia.
“Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was drinking coffee or if my cup was just empty,” said local regular, Marge Weatherby. “But my mouth feels pleasantly moist, and I didn’t end up jittery enough to clean my apartment. So, it’s a win, I guess.”
Some café patrons have expressed mixed feelings, wondering if this is a joke or some avant-garde art project disguised as a beverage. Nevertheless, sales of Aqua Java have outpaced expectations, particularly among customers wanting to appear like they’re drinking coffee during Zoom meetings without accidentally consuming caffeine.
Nutritionists have cautiously applauded Brew & Blink’s creativity. “Hydration is crucial,” said Dr. Sippy Glass, a local health expert. “If water-flavored coffee encourages even the most dedicated coffee drinkers to drink more fluids, it might be the breakthrough we never knew we needed.”
Brew & Blink plans to expand the water-flavored range, teasing potential launches such as “Decaf Raindrop Espresso” and “Iced Hydration Brew.” Meanwhile, café rivals are reportedly developing their own versions, including “Invisible Latte” and “Blank Mocha.”
As for Jerry, he remains optimistic. “If people want real coffee, they can get real coffee. But if they want to impress their friends with a fancy cup of nothing, we’ve got you covered.”