In what is being hailed as a groundbreaking moment for cyber security professionals everywhere, an innocuous helpdesk ticket has unveiled the shocking simplicity of a hacker’s password: “1234.” The ticket, submitted by the head of the company’s cyber security team with the subject line “Please, for the love of firewalls, explain,” detailed a successful breach attributed to the most underwhelming password in recent memory.
According to the ticket notes, the hacker—who reportedly spent several hours painstakingly attempting to guess complex passwords—was eventually thwarted by the less-than-stellar choice made by an unsuspecting employee. The final culprit? A password so unimaginative it might have been chosen during a particularly boring Monday morning meeting.
Following this revelation, the company’s cyber security division swiftly switched gears. In a press release, they announced the launch of a new series of free ‘Common Sense Cyber Security’ lessons aimed at “anyone still living in 1999.” Topics include “Passwords: Why ‘password’ is NOT a good idea,” “Don’t Tell Your Dog Your PIN,” and “How to Avoid Giving Hackers a Free Pass.”
When asked about the incident, the CIO commented, “We genuinely believed the hacker had used a complex algorithm, possibly involving quantum computing. Turns out, the hacker was simply incredibly lucky—or we’re incredibly unlucky. Probably both.”
Employees have already begun signing up for these courses, with many admitting to having used equally weak passwords themselves. One anonymous staff member confessed, “I thought ‘1234’ was a secure password because it felt random enough.”
Security experts outside the company have lauded the helpdesk ticket for its transparency and humility but warned that passwords like this one are unfortunately all too common. One expert quipped, “If hackers had a favorite drink, it would be ‘easy access’ shaken with a hint of ‘facepalm.’”
The cyber security team’s ticket has since gone viral within industry circles, inspiring memes, educational webinars, and even a few stand-up comedy routines. Whether the lessons stick remains to be seen, but at least now there’s a clear path to better security: a pinch of common sense and a password with more than four digits.