In a shocking turn of events that has ruffled more than a few feathers, the cybercrime division of the local police department has just apprehended what may be the world’s most inconspicuous hacker—Percy the pigeon. Accused of attempting to breach top-secret government Wi-Fi networks, Percy insists he was simply “caught in the wrong flock.”
The operation, dubbed “Operation Fowl Play,” came to a climax yesterday afternoon as officers cordoned off an alley behind City Hall. Witnesses say the pigeon was nonchalantly pecking at what appeared to be a breadcrumb trail when he was taken into custody. Eyewitness, Miss Gloria Waddle, described the moment, “It was just your typical Tuesday. Next thing I know, a bunch of police officers were cornering this pigeon, like some kind of avian mobster takedown.”
Authorities claim they’ve been tracking Percy for months, following a series of suspicious data breaches that left IT specialists coo-cooing in disbelief. “At first, we thought it was just another sophisticated hacker, maybe a teenager with too much time and an unhealthy obsession with espionage movies,” said Chief Inspector Featherstein. “In the end, it turned out to be a real birdbrain of a plot.”
Investigators were elated to catch Percy red-clawed, noting that his sophisticated array of seemingly random flights over government buildings was actually a calculated web of reconnaissance. By mapping Wi-Fi signals with an ingenious mixture of pigeon intuition and perhaps a little seed of knowledge, Percy is thought to have constructed the avian equivalent of a virtual black hat.
Percy’s defense team, led by the newly-founded Bird Rights Activists of Britain or BRAB, argues that the pigeon is innocent and merely attracted by the allure of human fast-food offerings. They state, “Our client was merely on his way to a promising bit of dropped sandwich when he accidentally interfered with digital territory. In truth, Percy is only interested in birdseed, not bytes.”
The news has sparked a spirited debate within the community over whether technology should be pigeon-proofed or whether pigeons should try to keep their noses (or beaks, in this case) out of cyber business. “This should serve as a lesson. Wi-Fi security is no flight of fancy,” declared local IT guru, Chip Tekken.
Percy, now safely behind cooped bars, awaits a trial that is sure to be of national importance. Until then, residents are advised to monitor local pigeons for any suspicious activity, such as excessively lengthy stays near reset buttons or unusual networks named “P33k-A2oooo.”
As for Percy, sources close to the bird claim he is using his time behind bars wisely, studying online courses in computer science. After all, where there’s a wireless will, there’s a way to feather one’s nest—with legal know-how, of course.