In an age where every aspect of our daily routine has been glamorized, from our morning coffee to our evening yoga class, it seems only natural that the humble act of brushing one’s teeth would eventually get a glittery upgrade. Enter glitter toothpaste—a product that has taken over social media by storm, turning bathroom selfies into dazzling displays of dental dazzle. But while TikTok influencers flash their bejeweled grins to millions, not everyone is ready to embrace this trend. Dentists, in particular, are polishing their protests.

Dr. Wanda Cavity, a prominent figure in the dental field and a renowned advocate of oral care devoid of sparkly interference, has expressed her concerns. “Sure, glitter toothpaste looks fun, but it’s all just shiny hype with none of the hope,” she lamented during a recent conference. “It’s like confetti for your gums—pretty, but entirely ineffective. Plus, do you know how much effort it takes to vacuum glitter out of a dental chair?”

The glittery phenomenon promises to make brushing fun, especially for children who loathe the bedtime ritual. However, complaints from worried parents are rolling in faster than sparkles down a drain. “I promised my son that dragons don’t exist, yet his toothpaste looks like it’s been harvested from a unicorn,” said Helen Dents, a mother of two. “Now he refuses to brush without wearing sunglasses.”

Meanwhile, oral hygiene firms have hurried to catch up with this sparkly new trend. Brands are downplaying color variations called “Disco Blueberry” and “Sparkling Mint Madness.” While toothpaste has never tasted or sounded more fun, the American Dental Association remains firm in its stance that no scientific evidence supports the claim that twinkling paste results in twinkling teeth.

Surprisingly, some members of the dental community are embracing the gel named Joe. Dr. Neil Silvermine, famous for his tooth jewelry designs, sees glitter toothpaste as just the next step in dental fashion. “We should be encouraging people to brush, even if it means they’ve got more shine than your Aunt Marge on New Year’s Eve,” he declared, bedazzled himself in a suitably flamboyant lab coat.

While social media stars defend their dazzling dentifrice as the next best thing since fluoride, everyday wearers are experiencing the reality of their fleetingly glamorous smiles. “I loved how it looked in my bathroom mirror,” said Matt Sparkman, a self-proclaimed glitter toothpaste convert. “But my colleagues kept squinting at me during meetings, and I’ve developed an odd fascination with disco balls.”

For those daring enough to venture down the glittery path to oral hygiene, it might be wise to keep a traditional paste on hand for those moments you wish to brush without blinding innocent bystanders. Until then, dentists around the world will continue their campaign to keep teeth clean, not coated with sparkle.

So, while the glitter toothpaste trend might bring smiles—quite literally—to bathroom counters worldwide, remember: all that glitters may not be tooth-friendly.