In a twist that has left both theologians and traffic police scratching their heads, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, widely regarded as the deity of the satirical Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, has been spotted blending in seamlessly with a row of traffic cones on the M25 highway near London. The pasta-based divine entity, typically associated with the creation of the universe, seems to have swapped its celestial noodles for a more terrestrial gig.
Eyewitnesses reported a particularly odd fluorescent cone, slightly larger than its clone companions, with what appeared to be appendages resembling spaghetti strands peeking out from beneath its reflective hat. “At first, I thought the heat was playing tricks on me,” explained Nigel, a local lorry driver. “But then I saw it — unmistakable wobbly appendages waving at me in a noodlish manner.”
Traffic officers were alerted, suspecting an elaborate prank or a protest by enthusiasts of pasta-based deities against the rising cost of Italian cuisine. Upon closer inspection, however, Sgt. Penne, the officer in charge, confirmed the unusual sighting. “We were baffled,” admitted Sgt. Penne. “For safety reasons, we usually discourage unauthorized anthropomorphic deities of any kind from occupying our highways, but I’m afraid there’s no clear regulation pertaining to holy spaghetti. This was entirely uncharted traffic law territory.”
The discovery has caused considerable congestion as onlookers and pilgrims have stopped in droves to pay homage and take selfies with the divine carb. Vendors selling garlic bread and marinara sauce have set up spontaneous stands at the lay-by, calling it a ‘once-in-a-lifetime divine dining experience.’
Local theologians are split on the matter, debating the significance of this celestial pasta making such a public appearance. “It’s got to be a sign,” stated Professor Rigatoni, an expert in fictitious deities. “Perhaps a message of sorts; after all, if a deity wishes to be closer to its followers, where better than the M25 during rush hour? It’s the peak of shared suffering.”
Mainstream religious leaders are equally perplexed. A statement from the Vatican humorously surmised, “While we cannot comment on the theological implications of this event, should the Flying Spaghetti Monster wish to engage in Vatican dialogue, Wednesday community spaghetti dinners can easily accommodate an extra plate.”
Meanwhile, the Department of Transportation is considering listing the Flying Spaghetti Monster as an official traffic management strategy. “If it helps slow traffic and reduce speed,” explains Minister of Transport, Al Dente, “we may need more of them.”
In the wake of this revelation, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has seen a sharp increase in membership, with many converts proclaiming that their faith’s redefined role as highway safety is proof of their deity’s benevolent nature. Future plans proposed by the church include ‘Pastafarian’ self-driving cars and, should the Highway Deity wish to continue its UK holiday, the introduction of sanctified spaghetti junctions across the country.