In a groundbreaking move that has left the corporate world both baffled and envious, the CEO of TechnoGlobal Inc., Henry “Radical Change” Thompson, recently announced the company’s new “Work from Home Forever” policy. Embracing the evolving work culture, Thompson declared that employees would be free to work from their homes, favorite cafés, or even the local park, indefinitely. However, it was his proposal for the now redundant office building that truly raised eyebrows.
During a Zoom meeting that could only be described as a blend of “Pirates of the Caribbean” and “Field of Dreams,” Thompson revealed his visionary plan: transforming the 10-story corporate headquarters into the world’s largest indoor golf course. Clad in a pirate hat—ostensibly to boost morale—he outlined how each floor would become a different hole, complete with sand traps in the former HR department and a water hazard in the Executive Suite, thanks to an indoor waterfall installation.
“Our office building is too wonderful to let go to waste,” Thompson explained, speaking over the sound of a parrot suspiciously absent from earlier company meetings. “Why let all those ergonomic chairs, potted plants, and trauma-inducing conference rooms go unused?”
For Thompson, the golf course proposal is not just about leisure; it’s about originality in function. He envisions the building as a multi-purpose entertainment hub, with the potential for hosting golf tournaments, birthday bashes, and even llama weddings—a rising trend, according to Thompson’s favorite birdwatcher blog.
Employees, initially sceptical about giving up their carefully curated cubicle mug collections, have come around to the idea. Sarah, a longtime company data analyst, relishes the thought of swapping Excel sheets for putter clubs, and she’s already dreaming of winning the first official office golf championship, provisionally set around the Finance Department’s printer.
Finance, on their end—still arguably recovering from the significant expense of putting rubber ducks in the building’s fountains last year—are curiously supporting the initiative. When questioned, CFO Bob Williams cryptically replied, “It’s all about diversification.” Allegedly, he has developed a fondness for plaid pants and faintly resembles a younger, less bronzed version of the late Arnold Palmer, except with more elaborate spreadsheets.
When asked how this policy might influence company productivity, Thompson remained optimistic. “To some, putting the firm’s fate in the hands of fairways seems illogical,” he said. “But remember, the greats like Da Vinci and Einstein were known to take extensive mental breaks. I dare say, some of our best software innovations might come after nailing a hole-in-one.”
Next on Thompson’s agenda is a possible collaboration with PGA to set up mini-golf breaks during remote work—a move analysts have categorized as “potentially brilliant” and “a compelling case of middle-management-driven denial.”
Although competitors are scrambling to catch up with Thompson’s innovative strategies, it remains yet to be seen if indoor golf will become a new trend in corporate compensation packages. As radical as Thompson’s proposal sounds, one can’t help but wonder if the only hole-in-one achieved might be on the balance sheets.
As for Thompson? “This is just the start,” he mused, contemplatively chewing the tip of his golf-shaped monocle. “My real dream is turning our subsidiary headquarters into a full-fledged surf school.”