In a groundbreaking announcement that’s sure to rattle Elon Musk, major car manufacturers have unveiled a new vehicle model that runs exclusively on drivers’ road rage. Dubbed the “Fury-Mobile,” this innovative automobile converts the kinetic energy of hand gestures, horn honking, and muttered obscenities into green, sustainable power.
Industry insiders were floored at the Geneva Auto Show as carmakers detailed this technological marvel. The Fury-Mobile’s engine features cutting-edge “Irate Energy Conversion” (IEC) technology, which transforms everyday driving frustrations into clean energy. The angrier the driver, the further the car can go—finally, a reason to embrace that morning gridlock!
“We’ve been tinkering with this for years,” said Percival Bristle, Chief Engineer at AutoAngst Motors. “The challenge was refining the technology to only harness true rage. We had to calibrate it so singing show tunes in the car wouldn’t power it, unless of course they’re sung with the particular venom reserved for karaoke sabotage.”
Early testing suggests the average driver could clock up to 200 miles on a single commute through rush hour traffic, simply from mild irritation. However, for those prone to daily meltdowns over left-lane campers and non-blinker users, the range could potentially increase tenfold. “We’re not just building cars,” Bristle added enthusiastically, “we’re building mobile anger management tools!”
The vehicle’s dashboard comes equipped with the latest Rage-Gauge™ technology, which measures the owner’s wrath level in real-time. It also features the innovative “Screech-to-Speech” function, which muffles road-rage-driven tirades and converts them into polite suggestions. “Tailgater too close?” the car will soothe with a gentle, “Kindly reconsider your following distance.”
Safety features have also been enhanced to accommodate a world fueled by fury. The vehicle includes an “Auto Calm” mode, which deploys soft lighting and a playlist of whale sounds whenever the Rage Gauge™ detects a spike that’s about to go nuclear. There’s even an optional “Passenger Anti-Rage System,” involving a set of earplugs and complimentary meditation app for your front-seat companions.
Several lawmakers have raised concerns about the potential for aggressive driving, but supporters argue the model is a win-win for traffic patter quadrants and the environment. “If we can convert anger into a renewable resource—why not?” quipped transportation ethics professor, Dr. Lena Turnpike. “We might see a significant drop in emissions, though an increase in profanities.”
Automotive fans around the world are eagerly anticipating the Fury-Mobile’s release, with speculation that it might even evolve into competitive vehicles powered by office frustrations or dealing-with-toddler tantrums. Pre-orders have topped the charts. They come with a free bumper sticker reading: “Happiness is overrated.”
So, next time you’re cut off in traffic, remember, it’s not just a minor inconvenience—it’s free fuel. The Fury-Mobile is here, driving angry has never been more eco-friendly.