In a groundbreaking move that many are calling both revolutionary and completely unnecessary, the government surprised everyone with yesterday’s announcement of the formation of their latest initiative, the Department of Redundancy Department. “Our aim is to streamline the process of streamlining,” declared its newly appointed head, Director Doug Douglasson, from the podium of a packed press conference held yesterday in a room that was definitely not too small for the occasion.
Economists, political theorists, and people who had googled “how do governments work” the night before were quick to raise their eyebrows. Many questioned how the Department of Redundancy Department planned to operate. Douglasson was ready with an answer as reassuring as it was confusing: “We will provide oversight and over-watch to our oversight, ensuring everything is overseen twice to guarantee maximum redundancy and duplication.”
To alleviate concerns that the new department might somehow be a misuse of taxpayer money, the government has assured citizens that they have developed a complex algorithm to ensure maximum efficiency. This includes a team of highly trained specialists known as the Redundancy Redundancy Staff, whose sole purpose is to ensure that each part of the work is reviewed redundantly by a team reviewing redundantly.
When questioned about possible deliverables, Douglasson was quick to clarify that they plan to deliver deliverables of deliverabilization. “Our first project,” he boasted, “is the construction of an identical twin building to our department office that nobody will use. It’s important to have a plan B that matches your plan A in case Plan A starts looking different.”
The Department of Redundancy Department assures us there will be department-wide workshops to discuss the benefits of discussing things repeatedly, all while encouraging employees to repeat themselves until they are sure they’ve been heard, heard, loud and clear.
Critics have cynically dubbed the initiative a castle built on a cloud of repetitive nonsense, but supporters claim it’s the bold step towards the pinnacle of bureaucratic nirvana. To further the cause, bureaucrats are encouraged to put pen to paper twice and send letters in duplicate.
Small business owners are particularly excited about fresh prospects for rubber stamps, paperwork supplies, and the delightful circle office chairs that spin around twice for every one push.
For those worried about government waste, there’s promising news. The department plans to keep its carbon footprint minimal by ensuring all paperwork is recycled, then unrecycled, then recycled again to create a cycle of redundancy.
In a fitting move, the official statement on the formation of the department was sent out twice, to make sure both inboxes and mailing boxes were adequately informed. As the new department prepares to launch, it remains a point of discussion whether they’ve made a groundbreaking improvement to the bloated bureaucracy or merely introduced an amusing stroke of circular genius to paperwork everywhere.