Major Timothy Aldridge, Britain’s first astronaut bound for Mars, has spent the initial 47 days of his seven-month journey issuing a continuous stream of apologies to European Space Agency mission control for what he describes as “being a bit of a nuisance, really.”
Aldridge, who underwent nine years of rigorous training and beat 8,000 other candidates to secure his place on the ESA’s Artemis IV mission, began apologising approximately four minutes after launch. His first recorded transmission included the phrase “terribly sorry about the fuel consumption” followed by an extended pause in which he appeared to be checking whether anyone needed his seat more than he did.
Mission audio logs reveal that the 42-year-old former RAF pilot has since apologised for breathing approximately 680 times. He has also expressed regret for using the water recycling system, taking up room in the sleeping pod, and “monopolising the good scissors” in the equipment bay.
“We keep telling him he’s meant to be there,” said Dr Claire Hutchinson, Lead Flight Director at ESA’s European Space Operations Centre in Darmstadt. “Yesterday he asked if we wanted him to pop back because he’d noticed he was using rather a lot of the oxygen budget. We had to explain that popping back isn’t really how orbital mechanics works.”
The situation escalated on Day 34 when Aldridge apologised for a scheduled EVA maintenance procedure he had been assigned eighteen months prior. Flight recordings captured him saying “I’m so sorry, I know you’re all terribly busy” before successfully repairing a critical solar array connection. He then apologised again for the time it took him to apologise.
Aldridge’s crewmate, Italian astronaut Luca Moretti, told ground control that the apologies had initially confused him. “On Tuesday, Tim said sorry for finishing the freeze-dried Neapolitan ice cream,” Moretti reported. “But I had eaten it. When I told him this, he apologised for accusing himself incorrectly.”
The UK Space Agency has defended Aldridge’s performance, noting that he has completed every mission objective ahead of schedule and with exceptional precision. A spokesperson pointed out that his tendency to apologise has not interfered with any critical systems, except for a brief incident in which he appeared to consider giving up his spacesuit to a visiting satellite.
“Tim represents the very best of British achievement in space exploration,” said Professor Angela Rowntree of Imperial College London’s Centre for Planetary Sciences. “He’s also somehow managed to feel guilty about representing the very best of British achievement in space exploration. It’s actually quite impressive.”
Mission control has now implemented a new protocol requiring Aldridge to limit his apologies to fewer than 30 per day. He has apologised for the extra paperwork this has created.